Blame Jokes

Why are Cal Tech and MIT constantly Fighting?

Because MIT blames Cal Tech for stealing their Feynman, and there will never be another man as Fine.

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Who's to blame?

The motorist. He really shouldn't be driving in the kitchen. (Edit: formatting)

What did one earthquake say to the other?

I don't know what you're blaming me for, it's your fault!

What did Sean Connery say when a book fell on his head?

I have only my shelf to blame

Why is the dog man's best friend?

He has to have someone to blame the farts on.

What did Sean Connery say when his books fell on his head?

I blame my shelf

What did Sean Connery say when a book from his cupboard fell on him?

I can only blame my shelf. Shout out to /r/shubreddit

What do you call a couch stuffed with chic peas?

A hummus-sectional ba dum tish! I know that was bad. Please blame my boyfriend, he thought of it.

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Book Jokes More Book Jokes

What did the author of The Lord of the Rings say after he completed his books?

If you like dialogue, theres a whole lot of Tolkein.

What do you call a book filled with outlines of Star Wars characters?

A Kylo Ren Book

Boss Jokes More Boss Jokes

Why put off until tomorrow what you can do today?

Me: It'll be higher quality and less tense for everyone if we wait Boss: Today!

Why doesn't Superman need a boss?

OC) He already has supervision.

Santa Helper Jokes More Santa Helper Jokes

What do you call Santa's helpers?

Subordinate Clauses.

What do you call one of Santa's helpers?

A subordinate clause

Tax Shelter Jokes More Tax Shelter Jokes

Where do homeless accountants live?

In a tax shelter. Blame GROCO PCA

Fault Jokes More Fault Jokes

What did one mountain say to the other mountain after an earthquake?

It's not my fault.

What did one tectonic plate say to the other after the earthquake?

That was your fault!!!

Mit Jokes More Mit Jokes

What's the dating scene like at MIT?

Carbon-14 is the most common method, I believe.

Why are Cal Tech and MIT constantly Fighting?

Because MIT blames Cal Tech for stealing their Feynman, and there will never be another man as Fine.

Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

Why don't you see Santa for the rest of the year?

Because for the rest of the year he's in prison for breaking into people's houses.

What does Santa call his English Elves?

Subordinate clauses....

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

What did the hiker say when he fell in a pile of moss?

I'm not lichen this!'

What happened when a man fell in love with a grand piano?

He said "Darling you've got lovely teeth."