Blame Jokes

Why are Cal Tech and MIT constantly Fighting?

Because MIT blames Cal Tech for stealing their Feynman, and there will never be another man as Fine.

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What did the feminist baker blame for all of her life's problems?

The Pastryarchy.

Whats George Zimmerman's favorite song?

Blame it on the night

Who's to blame?

The motorist. He really shouldn't be driving in the kitchen. (Edit: formatting)

What did one earthquake say to the other?

I don't know what your blaming me for, it's your fault!

What did Sean Connery say when a book fell on his head?

I have only my shelf to blame

Why is the dog man's best friend?

He has to have someone to blame the farts on.

Who knows... Maybe Japan hacked Sony?

Yeah... Lets blame Sony.

What did Sean Connery say when his books fell on his head?

I blame my shelf

What did Sean Connery say when a book from his cupboard fell on him?

I can only blame my shelf. Shout out to /r/shubreddit

Why did Kermit the Frog split with Ms. Piggy?

Because she wouldn't rub it rub it. (blame Happy International Bacon Day)

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What do you call a couch stuffed with chic peas?

A hummus-sectional ba dum tish! I know that was bad. Please blame my boyfriend, he thought of it.

What is your location?

Me: And you're to blame 911: Pardon Me: You give love a bad name 911: I'm hanging up

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Book Jokes More Book Jokes

What did the man who frequents the internet do with a book?

He Reddit.

Whenever we keep the money in the bags our son steals it, I don't know what to do?

Husband: Keep it in his books. I know he will never touch them....

Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

What is the biggest difference between Tiger Woods and Santa?

Santa stops at three Ho's

What do Santa's little helpers learn in school?

The Elfabet!

Reindeer Jokes More Reindeer Jokes

Why do the lawyers for the reindeer say they have to pull Santa's sled?

Because they have a claus in their contract.

What reindeer can jump higher than a house?

They all can! Houses can't jump!

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What do electric trains and breasts have in common?

They're intended for children but it's the men who usually end up playing with them.

Which of the following lines will do a better job of frightening a man away?

1) Get away or I'll call the police!!! 2) I love you and want to marry you and have your children.

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

What's white & falls from the sky?

The coming of the Lord." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!...please enjoy this tweet. I'm going to hell.

What did the blanket say when he fell off the bed?

Aw sheet! One of my favorite, cheesiest jokes of all time. Thought it would be a good first post to Reddit!

Kitchen Jokes More Kitchen Jokes

Where is Victoria working now?

In the kitchen.

How do you spell women backwards?

Kitchen

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What is the similarity between tight rope walking and an old lady giving you head?

You don't want to look down.

What did Sean Connery say when his books fell on his head?

I blame my shelf

Live Jokes More Live Jokes

What lives in the sea and preys on mermaids?

Jack The Kipper.

What lives in the sea and yells?

A clam shouter.