Blame Jokes

Why are Cal Tech and MIT constantly Fighting?

Because MIT blames Cal Tech for stealing their Feynman, and there will never be another man as Fine.

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What did the feminist baker blame for all of her life's problems?

The Pastryarchy.

Whats George Zimmerman's favorite song?

Blame it on the night

Who's to blame?

The motorist. He really shouldn't be driving in the kitchen. (Edit: formatting)

What did one earthquake say to the other?

I don't know what your blaming me for, it's your fault!

What did Sean Connery say when a book fell on his head?

I have only my shelf to blame

Why is the dog man's best friend?

He has to have someone to blame the farts on.

Who knows... Maybe Japan hacked Sony?

Yeah... Lets blame Sony.

What did Sean Connery say when his books fell on his head?

I blame my shelf

What did Sean Connery say when a book from his cupboard fell on him?

I can only blame my shelf. Shout out to /r/shubreddit

Why did Kermit the Frog split with Ms. Piggy?

Because she wouldn't rub it rub it. (blame Happy International Bacon Day)

$Your Age Is Only Math$

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What do you call a couch stuffed with chic peas?

A hummus-sectional ba dum tish! I know that was bad. Please blame my boyfriend, he thought of it.

What is your location?

Me: And you're to blame 911: Pardon Me: You give love a bad name 911: I'm hanging up

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Sock Jokes More Sock Jokes

What is the difference between a camera and a sock?

One holds photos The other holds five

What did 50 Cent say to his grandmother when she made him a pair of socks?

Gee, you knit

Mra Jokes More Mra Jokes

What's the difference between a brick and an MRA?

Bricks get laid.

How many MRAs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Tires need changing too you know!

Fine Jokes More Fine Jokes

Why is the second traffic citation always easier to read?

Because it's re-fined!

Why are Cal Tech and MIT constantly Fighting?

Because MIT blames Cal Tech for stealing their Feynman, and there will never be another man as Fine.

Fault Jokes More Fault Jokes

What did one earthquake say to the other earthquake?

I've been really stressed out lately, I know it's not your fault, but please stop cracking jokes about me

Why did the seismologist not have to pay for the damage caused by the earthquake?

It wasn't his fault.

Motorist Jokes More Motorist Jokes

What do you think you're doing parking your car there?

Motorist: I thought it was good place. It says "Safety Zone."

Why were you speeding when I stopped you?

Motorist: So I could race home to get my license and registration.

Mit Jokes More Mit Jokes

What's the dating scene like at MIT?

Carbon-14 is the most common method, I believe.

Why are Cal Tech and MIT constantly Fighting?

Because MIT blames Cal Tech for stealing their Feynman, and there will never be another man as Fine.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know a North Korean robbed your house?

All your printer paper is gone and when you look at the printer history it's all Kim Jong-Un.

How do you make cultured milk?

You take it to the Moo-seum. I know this joke is terrible, but I totally came up with it on my own, but I'm sure it exists already.

Freeze Jokes More Freeze Jokes

What did the Eskimo children sing when their principal was leaving?

Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.

What was Han Solo's reaction to being taken to the carbon-freezing chamber?

He was petrified.