Blame Jokes

What do you call one of Santa's helpers who bosses around the reindeer?

When he found out, Santa shouldn't have gotten mad, he only had his elf to blame. Now Santa won't forgive him until elf freezes over.

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Why are Cal Tech and MIT constantly Fighting?

Because MIT blames Cal Tech for stealing their Feynman, and there will never be another man as Fine.

What did the feminist baker blame for all of her life's problems?

The Pastryarchy.

How many MRAs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. They just blame feminism for the darkness.

Whats George Zimmerman's favorite song?

Blame it on the night

Who's to blame?

The motorist. He really shouldn't be driving in the kitchen. (Edit: formatting)

What did one earthquake say to the other?

I don't know what your blaming me for, it's your fault!

What did Sean Connery say when a book fell on his head?

I have only my shelf to blame

Why do you think people hate us so much?

Idk. I blame the idiots who wear us with socks.

Why is the dog man's best friend?

He has to have someone to blame the farts on.

Why does the left foot get all the blame if you're a poor dancer?

Oh, you have two left feet. Hur hur hur" I guess it is #rightprivilege

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Who knows... Maybe Japan hacked Sony?

Yeah... Lets blame Sony.

What did Sean Connery say when his books fell on his head?

I blame my shelf

What did Sean Connery say when a book from his cupboard fell on him?

I can only blame my shelf. Shout out to /r/shubreddit

Why did Kermit the Frog split with Ms. Piggy?

Because she wouldn't rub it rub it. (blame Happy International Bacon Day)

What do you call a couch stuffed with chic peas?

A hummus-sectional ba dum tish! I know that was bad. Please blame my boyfriend, he thought of it.

What is your location?

Me: And you're to blame 911: Pardon Me: You give love a bad name 911: I'm hanging up

How many Arabs does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just sit in the dark and blame the Jews.

How many Arabs does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They'll sit in the dark and blame the Jews

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Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

Why is there all this hate against necromancers?

They are just trying to raise a family in peace.

Why was Jesus I such good shape?

Crossfit. Why did the Romans hate Jesus so much? He wouldn't shut up about crossfit.

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

What kind of jeans does mario wear?

Denim denim denim.(http://youtu.be/rdnTvgK2o5I) shamelessly stolen from tumblr

What did the dealer say to Ted when he caught him stealing heroin?

Your addicted.

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What do you call a person who sleeps next to dead bodies at night?

Morgue Attendant

What does an agnostic... dyslexic insomniac do at night?

He lays awake and wonders if there really is a dog.

Fine Jokes More Fine Jokes

Why was the cannibal fined by the judge?

He was caught poaching.

Why didn't the Seahawks give the ball to Marshawn Lynch?

They couldn't fined him.

Santa Helper Jokes More Santa Helper Jokes

What do you call Santa's helpers?

Subordinate Clauses.

What do you call one of Santa's helpers who bosses around the reindeer?

When he found out, Santa shouldn't have gotten mad, he only had his elf to blame. Now Santa won't forgive him until elf freezes over.

Live Jokes More Live Jokes

Where do poor noodles live?

In the spaghetto

Why are Saudi Arabians so clueless?

They're all living under Iraq

Tax Shelter Jokes More Tax Shelter Jokes

Where do homeless accountants live?

In a tax shelter. Blame GROCO PCA

Where does a homeless accountant live?

In a tax shelter.

Homeless Accountant Jokes More Homeless Accountant Jokes

Where does a homeless accountant live?

In a tax shelter.

Where do homeless accountants live?

In a tax shelter. Blame GROCO PCA