Blame Jokes

Why are Cal Tech and MIT constantly Fighting?

Because MIT blames Cal Tech for stealing their Feynman, and there will never be another man as Fine.

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Who's to blame?

The motorist. He really shouldn't be driving in the kitchen. (Edit: formatting)

What did one earthquake say to the other?

I don't know what you're blaming me for, it's your fault!

What did Sean Connery say when a book fell on his head?

I have only my shelf to blame

Why is the dog man's best friend?

He has to have someone to blame the farts on.

What did Sean Connery say when his books fell on his head?

I blame my shelf

What did Sean Connery say when a book from his cupboard fell on him?

I can only blame my shelf. Shout out to /r/shubreddit

What do you call a couch stuffed with chic peas?

A hummus-sectional ba dum tish! I know that was bad. Please blame my boyfriend, he thought of it.

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Mra Jokes More Mra Jokes

Motorist Jokes More Motorist Jokes

Why are you driving without a license?

Motorist: Because it was revoked months ago.

Why were you asleep at the wheel?

Motorist: Your siren lulled me to sleep.

Mit Jokes More Mit Jokes

Why are Cal Tech and MIT constantly Fighting?

Because MIT blames Cal Tech for stealing their Feynman, and there will never be another man as Fine.

What's the dating scene like at MIT?

Carbon-14 is the most common method, I believe.

Live Jokes More Live Jokes

Where do cats go once they have used up all nine of their lives?

Purrgatory.

What's the absolute worst city to live in?

An atroCITY.

Sock Jokes More Sock Jokes

Why does Tiger Woods bring an extra pair of socks while golfing?

In case he gets a hole in one.

What is the difference between a sock and a camera?

A sock takes five toes and a camera takes photos.

Santa Helper Jokes More Santa Helper Jokes

What do you call Santa's helpers?

Subordinate Clauses.

What do you call one of Santa's helpers?

A subordinate clause

George Zimmerman Jokes More George Zimmerman Jokes

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How many choir directors does it take to change a light bulb?

No one knows. No one ever watches the choir director.

How do you know if someone has a Samsung phone without asking?

Don't worry, they've already told you the superior qualities it has over all the other smart phones by this time.