Blame Jokes

Why are Cal Tech and MIT constantly Fighting?

Because MIT blames Cal Tech for stealing their Feynman, and there will never be another man as Fine.

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Whats George Zimmerman's favorite song?

Blame it on the night

Who's to blame?

The motorist. He really shouldn't be driving in the kitchen. (Edit: formatting)

What did one earthquake say to the other?

I don't know what you're blaming me for, it's your fault!

What did Sean Connery say when a book fell on his head?

I have only my shelf to blame

Why is the dog man's best friend?

He has to have someone to blame the farts on.

Who knows... Maybe Japan hacked Sony?

Yeah... Lets blame Sony.

What did Sean Connery say when his books fell on his head?

I blame my shelf

What did Sean Connery say when a book from his cupboard fell on him?

I can only blame my shelf. Shout out to /r/shubreddit

What do you call a couch stuffed with chic peas?

A hummus-sectional ba dum tish! I know that was bad. Please blame my boyfriend, he thought of it.

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Find Jokes More Find Jokes

What did Santa Clause say when he came down Lindsay Lohan's chimney and found her spending Christmas Eve with her pals Miley Cyrus and Paris Hilton?

Ho, ho, ho!

Who says there's no life on Mars?

Why only today they found a Beagle!

Santa Helper Jokes More Santa Helper Jokes

What do you call Santa's helpers?

Subordinate Clauses.

What do you call one of Santa's helpers?

A subordinate clause

Kitchen Jokes More Kitchen Jokes

What's the problem when your wife walks out of the kitchen?

The chain is too long.

What do you call it when a Catholic renovates his kitchen?

A counter reformation.

Sock Jokes More Sock Jokes

What is the difference between a sock and a camera?

A sock takes five toes and a camera takes photos.

What kind of socks do you find in your backyard?

Garden hose.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How many Deadheads (Grateful Dead fans) does it take to change a lightbulb?

No one knows, they wait for it to burn out and follow it around for twenty years.

Why is Santa so jolly?

Because he knows where all the naughty girls live. Happy Holidays Fun!

Live Jokes More Live Jokes

What reads and lives in an apple?

A bookworm!

Where did the Candian pirate live?

Ont**ARR**io

Feminism Jokes More Feminism Jokes

How do you start a conversation about men's rights?

Mention feminism.

When does feminism stop?

When the car breaks down.

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

What is the difference between a bag of cocaine and a toddler?

Eric Clapton won't let a bag of cocaine fall out of the window.

What happened when Rick fell down a hill?

Rick rolled.