Blame Jokes

Why are Cal Tech and MIT constantly Fighting?

Because MIT blames Cal Tech for stealing their Feynman, and there will never be another man as Fine.

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What did the feminist baker blame for all of her life's problems?

The Pastryarchy.

Whats George Zimmerman's favorite song?

Blame it on the night

Who's to blame?

The motorist. He really shouldn't be driving in the kitchen. (Edit: formatting)

What did one earthquake say to the other?

I don't know what your blaming me for, it's your fault!

What did Sean Connery say when a book fell on his head?

I have only my shelf to blame

Why is the dog man's best friend?

He has to have someone to blame the farts on.

Who knows... Maybe Japan hacked Sony?

Yeah... Lets blame Sony.

What did Sean Connery say when his books fell on his head?

I blame my shelf

What did Sean Connery say when a book from his cupboard fell on him?

I can only blame my shelf. Shout out to /r/shubreddit

Why did Kermit the Frog split with Ms. Piggy?

Because she wouldn't rub it rub it. (blame Happy International Bacon Day)

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What do you call a couch stuffed with chic peas?

A hummus-sectional ba dum tish! I know that was bad. Please blame my boyfriend, he thought of it.

What is your location?

Me: And you're to blame 911: Pardon Me: You give love a bad name 911: I'm hanging up

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Idk Jokes More Idk Jokes

What's a snowman's favorite drink?

Bartender: idk Me: Brrrr-bon lol Bartender: ... Me: jk snowmen don't drink they aren't real

What should we call ourselves?

How about 22 pilots "Idk. Seems like an awful lot of pilots" 21 pilots "Omg"

Shelf Jokes More Shelf Jokes

What did Sean Connery say when a book from his cupboard fell on him?

I can only blame my shelf. Shout out to /r/shubreddit

What did the bookshelf say when it looked in the mirror?

I can see my shelf

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What did u do last night?

Me: I drowned my swallows in whiskey Don't u mean sorrows Me covering tub of dead birds: is that the saying

What does an agnostic... dyslexic insomniac do at night?

He lays awake and wonders if there really is a dog.

Mra Jokes More Mra Jokes

What's the difference between a brick and an MRA?

Bricks get laid.

How many MRAs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Tires need changing too you know!

Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

Why do doctors hate Wolves?

Lupus

Why German Loves Americans why do Germans love Americans?

Because Americans are the most hated people in the world now.

Forgive Jokes More Forgive Jokes

Why was the Baker a part-time drug dealer?

Because he really kneaded the dough. (please forgive me for that awful pun)

How is Bill Cosby like an environment at 0 Kelvin?

When around both, one eventually stops moving. Forgive me.

Kitchen Jokes More Kitchen Jokes

Who's to blame?

The motorist. He really shouldn't be driving in the kitchen. (Edit: formatting)

Why are there rugs in front of the stove and the sink?

So women know where to stand in the kitchen.

Earthquake Jokes More Earthquake Jokes

Why did the seismologist not have to pay for the damage caused by the earthquake?

It wasn't his fault.

Where is the safest place to be during an earthquake?

A hot air balloon #JonsSafetyTips #Safety #safetyTip #EarthquakeSafetyFacts