What do you call a couch stuffed with chic peas?

A hummus-sectional ba dum tish! I know that was bad. Please blame my boyfriend, he thought of it.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What did the calculus student who failed his test and the guy who got a speed ticket have in common?

They didn't know their limits

What does a strong shoulder do when it doesn't know how to get any stronger?

Shrugs.

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What animal will you always see at a resturant?

A DINE-O-SAUR. I think my brother is a future stand-up comic.

What do you call a scientific measuring instrument with degrees?

A graduated cylinder. This is the only joke I've ever thought of.

Couch Jokes More Couch Jokes

What is the difference between me and my couch?

My couch pulls outs

What does a hippy say when you tell him to get off your couch?

Namaste

Boyfriend Jokes More Boyfriend Jokes

What do you do if your boyfriend walks out?

Close the door.

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?

Because those men already have boyfriends.

Stuff Jokes More Stuff Jokes

Whatcha thinkin' about?

Taxidermist: Stuff.

What do you call a dog that goes through your stuff?

Snoop dog.

Blame Jokes More Blame Jokes

What did Sean Connery say when a book fell on his head?

I have only my shelf to blame

Why are Cal Tech and MIT constantly Fighting?

Because MIT blames Cal Tech for stealing their Feynman, and there will never be another man as Fine.

Chic Pea Jokes More Chic Pea Jokes

What do you call a couch stuffed with chic peas?

A hummus-sectional ba dum tish! I know that was bad. Please blame my boyfriend, he thought of it.

What's the difference between a chic pea and a garbanzo bean?

Iv never had a garbanzo bean on my face.