What do you call a couch stuffed with chic peas?

A hummus-sectional ba dum tish! I know that was bad. Please blame my boyfriend, he thought of it.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Where'd ya get it?

The parrot says, "Africa." (I don't know if you know this one, but I just heard it today)

Why do Stasi officers make such good taxi drivers?

You get in the car and they already know your name and where you live.

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Why was the lobster upset?

Because he found out his friends thought he was a little crabby!

What's the funniest part of a boxing joke?

You'd think it'd be the punchline, but apparently it's funnier when the person feints...

Couch Jokes More Couch Jokes

What's the appropriate age to take the electric shock collar off your kid?

My son's 10 years... hold on... OFF THE COUCH! brb... convulsing.

What did the hippie say when he was kicked off the couch?

Namaste

Boyfriend Jokes More Boyfriend Jokes

What does Taylor Swift tell her boyfriend when he gets toilet paper stuck on his arse?

Shake it off

How do you know your boyfriend loves you?

SECOND PIGLET: He signs his letters with lots of hogs and kisses.

Stuff Jokes More Stuff Jokes

When faced with a challenging situation I calmly ask myself "what would The Hulk do?"

Then I rip my clothes and smash stuff up!

How is the Easter Bunny like Shaquille O'Neal?

They're both famous for stuffing baskets!

Blame Jokes More Blame Jokes

Why did Kermit the Frog split with Ms. Piggy?

Because she wouldn't rub it rub it. (blame Happy International Bacon Day)

Whats George Zimmerman's favorite song?

Blame it on the night

Chic Pea Jokes More Chic Pea Jokes

What do you call a couch stuffed with chic peas?

A hummus-sectional ba dum tish! I know that was bad. Please blame my boyfriend, he thought of it.

What's the difference between a chic pea and a garbanzo bean?

Iv never had a garbanzo bean on my face.