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What do you call a couch stuffed with chic peas?

A hummus-sectional ba dum tish! I know that was bad. Please blame my boyfriend, he thought of it.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know it's going to be a white Christmas?

It's approaching with deceptive speed.

Where is the English Channel?

Student: I don't know, my tv doesn't pick it up

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Why is your shirt on wrong?

Daughter: I think you old people call it: "second base"

Why's the couch smell like pee?

Flashback to me watching The Ring alone Me: *points at son* I think someone had another "accident."

Couch Jokes More Couch Jokes

What did the hipster say......when he was told to get off the couch?

Nah-imma-stay

Why can't Buddhists vacuum under the couch?

Because they have no attachments.

Boyfriend Jokes More Boyfriend Jokes

What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?

45 minutes.

Why did the nuke switch course?

Because a girl on the ground said "I have a boyfriend" later that day the nuke fell into depression

Stuff Jokes More Stuff Jokes

What's the Turkish version of court packing?

Turkey stuffing

What do you call a couch stuffed with chic peas?

A hummus-sectional ba dum tish! I know that was bad. Please blame my boyfriend, he thought of it.

Blame Jokes More Blame Jokes

What do you call one of Santa's helpers who bosses around the reindeer?

When he found out, Santa shouldn't have gotten mad, he only had his elf to blame. Now Santa won't forgive him until elf freezes over.

Whats George Zimmerman's favorite song?

Blame it on the night

Chic Pea Jokes More Chic Pea Jokes

What do you call a couch stuffed with chic peas?

A hummus-sectional ba dum tish! I know that was bad. Please blame my boyfriend, he thought of it.

What's the difference between a chic pea and a garbanzo bean?

Iv never had a garbanzo bean on my face.