What do you call a couch stuffed with chic peas?

A hummus-sectional ba dum tish! I know that was bad. Please blame my boyfriend, he thought of it.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why are white prisoners so scary?

Because you know they did it.

How long does it take a baby to die in the microwave?

I don't know, I lose track of time when I have an erection.

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Why did the man drowning in the Nile River think he wasn't going to die?

Because he was in de-nile.

What's the best way to make friends?

Tell a woman you love her and she says "i think we're just friends..."

Couch Jokes More Couch Jokes

What is the difference between me and my couch?

My couch pulls outs

What does the hippy say when you try to kick them off your couch?

Namaste.

Boyfriend Jokes More Boyfriend Jokes

Who, you ask, turns the AC on during a polar vortex?

Sociopaths, fascist dictators, my boyfriend.

What is the difference between motorbike and boyfriend?

Well, bike is first kicked than used and boyfriend is first used than kicked ZZZZ...

Stuff Jokes More Stuff Jokes

What do you call a dog that goes through your stuff?

Snoop dog.

Why did the teddy bear leave the restaurant?

He was stuffed.

Blame Jokes More Blame Jokes

Who's to blame?

The motorist. He really shouldn't be driving in the kitchen. (Edit: formatting)

How many Arabs does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They'll sit in the dark and blame the Jews

Chic Pea Jokes More Chic Pea Jokes

What's the difference between a chic pea and a garbanzo bean?

Iv never had a garbanzo bean on my face.

What do you call a couch stuffed with chic peas?

A hummus-sectional ba dum tish! I know that was bad. Please blame my boyfriend, he thought of it.