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What did Sean Connery say when his books fell on his head?

I blame my shelf

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Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

What did Hellen Keller not see when she fell?

The floor

What falls down faster from a tree, a leaf or an emo?

A leaf. The rope catches the emo.

Shelf Jokes More Shelf Jokes

What did Sean Connery say when a book fell on his head?

I have only my shelf to blame

What do you call a short priest reaching for his Bible that's on the top shelf?

Christina Ricci.

Blame Jokes More Blame Jokes

What do you call a couch stuffed with chic peas?

A hummus-sectional ba dum tish! I know that was bad. Please blame my boyfriend, he thought of it.

What is your location?

Me: And you're to blame 911: Pardon Me: You give love a bad name 911: I'm hanging up

Sean Connery Jokes More Sean Connery Jokes

What time does Sean Connery get to the US Open?

Ten-ish

What is Sean Connery's favorite dish?

A seizure salad.

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What do you call it......when you get head from a black girl and a white girl at the same time?

Marblehead

What's black, white, red, and can't turn around in an elevator?

A nun with a javelin through her head.

Book Jokes More Book Jokes

What is a hypocrite?

An atheist writer praying his book will sell.

Why are those two men standing in the spine of that book?

It must need Osteo-per-o-sis" Love it.