What did Sean Connery say when a book fell on his head?

I have only my shelf to blame

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Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

Why did Sally fall off the swingset?

Because she had no arms. "knock knock" "whose there?" "not sally!"

Why is it called an "almond" in the tree but an "amond" when it falls to the ground?

When it falls to the ground, it knocks the 'ell out of it.

Shelf Jokes More Shelf Jokes

What ghost did Ebenezer Scrooge encounter when he refurnished his home?

The shadow of his former shelf.

What did Sean Connery say when a book fell on his head?

I have only my shelf to blame

Blame Jokes More Blame Jokes

Who's to blame?

The motorist. He really shouldn't be driving in the kitchen. (Edit: formatting)

What do you call a couch stuffed with chic peas?

A hummus-sectional ba dum tish! I know that was bad. Please blame my boyfriend, he thought of it.

Sean Connery Jokes More Sean Connery Jokes

When does Sean Connery enjoy playing his favorite sport?

Ten-ish.

What does Sean Connery surf on the Internet?

Reddish.

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What is the head of an Italian dinosaur family called?

Ptera Don

What lands as often on its tail as it does its head?

A penny.

Book Jokes More Book Jokes

Why did the Native American feel so reluctant about booking a hotel room?

He had his reservations.

What is the difference between a Mexican and a book?

A book has papers.