Shelf Jokes

What did the bookshelf say when it looked in the mirror?

I can see my shelf

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Why do Little People hate the taste of alcohol?

Because they can't reach the top shelf.

What did Sean Connery say when a book fell on his head?

I have only my shelf to blame

Why are librarians so lonely?

They're always by them shelves Just wanted to see if that library joke checked out Sorry for all the library jokes, I'll put them on hold

What ghost did Ebenezer Scrooge encounter when he refurnished his home?

The shadow of his former shelf.

What did Sean Connery say when his books fell on his head?

I blame my shelf

What did Sean Connery say when a book from his cupboard fell on him?

I can only blame my shelf. Shout out to /r/shubreddit

Where did the spoiled milk sit?

On the top shelf. Where did the chocolate milk sit In the back.

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Taste Jokes More Taste Jokes

Why did the cannibal break up with his girlfriend?

She didn't suit his taste!

Why are you stuffing all that Easter candy into your mouth?

Because it doesn't taste as good if I stuff it in my ears.

Clam Jokes More Clam Jokes

Why did the clam go to jail?

For setting up illegal shell companies!

Why did the clam get in an accident?

He was talking on his shellphone.

Library Jokes More Library Jokes

What do you call a hundred year old man who dies in the library?

Overdue

How many nuns were at the library?

Absolutely nun

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

How do I stay humble?

Well, it's not easy, but I start by being generally bad at almost all things.

Why is it hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs?

They always take things literally.

Little People Jokes More Little People Jokes

What is it called when two little people get divorced?

Daworfed

What's the tragedy with little people?

They lead such short lives.

Oscar Jokes More Oscar Jokes

What's pretty and expensive but has no use?

Leonardo DiCaprio's Oscar shelf.

What's the similarity between a Spanish prison and Leonardo DiCaprio?

Now, both have an oscar.

Chocolate Milk Jokes More Chocolate Milk Jokes

What's the difference between a cow who makes regular milk and a cow who makes chocolate milk?

A mootation

Why don't Hollywood talent agents drink chocolate milk?

Because it's not about who you know, but no Yoo-hoo.

Sean Connery Jokes More Sean Connery Jokes

Where does Sean Connery keep his guns?

In the library of course. They're for shelf-defense.

What beer does Sean Connery drink?

Grols