Shelf Jokes

What did the bookshelf say when it looked in the mirror?

I can see my shelf

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Why do Little People hate the taste of alcohol?

Because they can't reach the top shelf.

What did Sean Connery say when a book fell on his head?

I have only my shelf to blame

Why are librarians so lonely?

They're always by them shelves Just wanted to see if that library joke checked out Sorry for all the library jokes, I'll put them on hold

What ghost did Ebenezer Scrooge encounter when he refurnished his home?

The shadow of his former shelf.

What did Sean Connery say when his books fell on his head?

I blame my shelf

What did Sean Connery say when a book from his cupboard fell on him?

I can only blame my shelf. Shout out to /r/shubreddit

Where did the spoiled milk sit?

On the top shelf. Where did the chocolate milk sit In the back.

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Library Jokes More Library Jokes

What's the most dishonest place on earth?

The Library

Where is the safest place to stay at Ferguson?

The public pool, if it is too crowded try the library.

Ebenezer Scrooge Jokes More Ebenezer Scrooge Jokes

How does Ebenezer Scrooge make phone calls?

Collect!

Why did Ebenezer Scrooge go to New York City?

To see the Grumpire State Building.

Mermaid Jokes More Mermaid Jokes

What did the mermaid forget to bring to the maths lesson?

Her algae bra.

What kind of undergarments do mermaids wear?

An algebra

Sean Connery Jokes More Sean Connery Jokes

When did Sean Connery get to Wimbledon?

Tennish.

When does Sean Connery usually arrive at Wimbledon?

Tennish.

Little People Jokes More Little People Jokes

What is it called when two little people get divorced?

Daworfed

Why do Little People hate the taste of alcohol?

Because they can't reach the top shelf.

Hog Jokes More Hog Jokes

How do you know your boyfriend loves you?

SECOND PIGLET: He signs his letters with lots of hogs and kisses.

What do you call a book case hogging all the books?

Shelf-ish

Clam Jokes More Clam Jokes

What's the downside to dating a Mermaid?

Her clam smells like fish!

What do you call a Cloyster that wants to learn the move Rain Dance?

The clam before the storm!

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

How many moths does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just two, but how they get in there.. I don't know. (Stolen from an old Maxim in my dad's storage)

Why did the car thief drill holes in the air conditioning units of the cars he stole?

Because he my take your ride but he will never take your freon.