Shelf Jokes

What do you call a short priest reaching for his bible that's on the top shelf?

Christina Ricci.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What did the bookshelf say when it looked in the mirror?

I can see my shelf

Why do Little People hate the taste of alcohol?

Because they can't reach the top shelf.

What did Sean Connery say when a book fell on his head?

I have only my shelf to blame

Why are librarians so lonely?

They're always by them shelves Just wanted to see if that library joke checked out Sorry for all the library jokes, I'll put them on hold

What ghost did Ebenezer Scrooge encounter when he refurnished his home?

The shadow of his former shelf.

What did Sean Connery say when his books fell on his head?

I blame my shelf

What did Sean Connery say when a book from his cupboard fell on him?

I can only blame my shelf. Shout out to /r/shubreddit

Where did the spoiled milk sit?

On the top shelf. Where did the chocolate milk sit In the back.

You might also enjoy:

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

What do you get when two Samoans Fall off a couch?

Tufaloffahsofa

What did Dr. Evil say when he fell in the rancor pit?

Throw me a frickin bone here.

Blame Jokes More Blame Jokes

Why is the dog man's best friend?

He has to have someone to blame the farts on.

What did Sean Connery say when a book fell on his head?

I have only my shelf to blame

Course Jokes More Course Jokes

How do inmates pay for things in prison?

With ConCurrency, of course.

Where does Sean Connery keep his guns?

In the library of course. They're for shelf-defense.

Alcohol Jokes More Alcohol Jokes

What is Drake's favorite type of alcohol?

Cripple Sec

What happens when you combine alcohol and literature?

Tequila Mockingbird

Library Jokes More Library Jokes

What do you call a dog in the library?

A hush puppy.

What was the preferred magazine of the bear that hung out behind the library?

Digest Readers.

Hog Jokes More Hog Jokes

What do you call a book case hogging all the books?

Shelf-ish

How do you know your boyfriend loves you?

SECOND PIGLET: He signs his letters with lots of hogs and kisses.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What does a blonde put behind her ears to look attractive?

Her ankles.

What do a walrus and a zip-lock bag have in common?

They're both looking for a tight seal.

Little People Jokes More Little People Jokes

What's the tragedy with little people?

They lead such short lives.

What if Snow White just pretended to be asleep so she didn't have to clean up after little people anymore?

Because that I totally get.