Shelf Jokes

What did the bookshelf say when it looked in the mirror?

I can see my shelf

Couple's Daily Question Mug

What did Sean Connery say when a book fell on his head?

I have only my shelf to blame

Why are librarians so lonely?

They're always by them shelves Just wanted to see if that library joke checked out Sorry for all the library jokes, I'll put them on hold

What ghost did Ebenezer Scrooge encounter when he refurnished his home?

The shadow of his former shelf.

What did Sean Connery say when his books fell on his head?

I blame my shelf

What did Sean Connery say when a book from his cupboard fell on him?

I can only blame my shelf. Shout out to /r/shubreddit

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Sit Jokes More Sit Jokes

Why did the dog sit in the shade?

It didn't want to be a hotdog. *ba dum tsss *ba dum tish idk

What do you call a guy in a suit sitting in a tree?

Branch Manager

Cupboard Jokes More Cupboard Jokes

Why did the old man sneak past the cupboard?

He didn't want to wake up the sleeping pills.

What did Sean Connery say when a book from his cupboard fell on him?

I can only blame my shelf. Shout out to /r/shubreddit

Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

What food do vampires hate?

Steaks.

What's the difference between love and hate?

A) Usually about 6 months.

Chocolate Milk Jokes More Chocolate Milk Jokes

Why Mr.BEAN Bought A Brown Cow?

2 Get Chocolate Milk!!

What's the difference between a cow who makes regular milk and a cow who makes chocolate milk?

A mootation

Oscar Jokes More Oscar Jokes

Why did Leonardo DiCaprio laugh at the Oscar joke?

Because he finally got it

Why did Leonardo DiCaprio visit Sesame Street?

It was his only chance to see an Oscar

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

Why couldn't JFK be a boxer?

He couldn't take shots to the head.

What did the hat say to the other hat?

You stay here. I'll go on a head.

Hog Jokes More Hog Jokes

Where do hogs keep their money?

In piggy banks.

Why does Sean Connery hog all of the oysters at a seafood dinner?

Because it's shellfish.

Bible Jokes More Bible Jokes

Where is tennis mentioned in the Bible?

Where Joseph served in Pharaoh's court.

How much would you say you read the Bible?

Well, I don't read it religiously." Bud-dum tss, I hate myself.