Shelf Jokes

What did the bookshelf say when it looked in the mirror?

I can see my shelf

Couple's Daily Question Mug

What did Sean Connery say when a book fell on his head?

I have only my shelf to blame

Why are librarians so lonely?

They're always by them shelves Just wanted to see if that library joke checked out Sorry for all the library jokes, I'll put them on hold

What ghost did Ebenezer Scrooge encounter when he refurnished his home?

The shadow of his former shelf.

What did Sean Connery say when his books fell on his head?

I blame my shelf

What did Sean Connery say when a book from his cupboard fell on him?

I can only blame my shelf. Shout out to /r/shubreddit

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Blame Jokes More Blame Jokes

Why is the dog man's best friend?

He has to have someone to blame the farts on.

Why are Cal Tech and MIT constantly Fighting?

Because MIT blames Cal Tech for stealing their Feynman, and there will never be another man as Fine.

Librarian Jokes More Librarian Jokes

How many librarians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I don't know but I can look it up for you.

Why are librarians so shy?

Their occupation makes them very shelf conscious.

Taste Jokes More Taste Jokes

Why does moon rock taste better than earth rock?

It's a little meteor.

What do you call a coffee made with frothy milk that tastes like crap?

A farte

Library Jokes More Library Jokes

Where does Sean Connery keep his guns?

In the library of course. They're for shelf-defense.

What is the definition of a Barbarian?

It's someone who cuts hair in a library.

Mermaid Jokes More Mermaid Jokes

How do mermaids reproduce?

Binary fish-ion.

What kind of undergarments do mermaids wear?

An algebra

Book Jokes More Book Jokes

What did the librarian say to the travel agent?

Find what you're booking for

What do you have when you are having second thoughts about your booking on Native American land?

Reservation reservation reservations.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

Why did the spreadsheets get divorced?

They just couldn't sort things out.

Why do men stare at a woman's breasts?

To prove they can focus on two things at once.

Little People Jokes More Little People Jokes