Shelf Jokes

What did the bookshelf say when it looked in the mirror?

I can see my shelf

March Madness Sale

Birthday State of Mind

$5.99

Why do Little People hate the taste of alcohol?

Because they can't reach the top shelf.

What did Sean Connery say when a book fell on his head?

I have only my shelf to blame

Why are librarians so lonely?

They're always by them shelves Just wanted to see if that library joke checked out Sorry for all the library jokes, I'll put them on hold

What ghost did Ebenezer Scrooge encounter when he refurnished his home?

The shadow of his former shelf.

What did Sean Connery say when his books fell on his head?

I blame my shelf

What did Sean Connery say when a book from his cupboard fell on him?

I can only blame my shelf. Shout out to /r/shubreddit

Where did the spoiled milk sit?

On the top shelf. Where did the chocolate milk sit In the back.

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Shout Jokes More Shout Jokes

What did Sean Connery say when a book from his cupboard fell on him?

I can only blame my shelf. Shout out to /r/shubreddit

What did the physics professor shout when he disproved Hooke's Law in early to mid March?

Spring break!

Cupboard Jokes More Cupboard Jokes

What did Sean Connery say when a book from his cupboard fell on him?

I can only blame my shelf. Shout out to /r/shubreddit

What do you get if you cross a bag of snakes and a cupboard of food?

Snakes and Larders!sna

Sit Jokes More Sit Jokes

What's big and green and sits in the corner?

The Incredible Sulk!

What do you call Christopher Walken when he is sitting?

Christopher Sitten

Sean Connery Jokes More Sean Connery Jokes

How does Sean Connery's dog bark?

Woofsh

What time does Sean Connery show up at Wimbledon every year?

About tennish.

Blame Jokes More Blame Jokes

What did Sean Connery say when his books fell on his head?

I blame my shelf

What did Sean Connery say when a book from his cupboard fell on him?

I can only blame my shelf. Shout out to /r/shubreddit

Course Jokes More Course Jokes

Where do Chinese people find work?

On ChinkedIn of course. (I know the pun is racist but I had to share. Sorry.)

Where do they weigh whales?

At the whale weigh station of course.

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

How long does it take for a newborn to fall from the Empire State building?

About 16 seconds

Where do you take a Chihuahua that has fallen into a lake?

To a weterinarian!

Ebenezer Scrooge Jokes More Ebenezer Scrooge Jokes

Why did Ebenezer Scrooge go to New York City?

To see the Grumpire State Building.

What ghost did Ebenezer Scrooge encounter when he refurnished his home?

The shadow of his former shelf.