Shout Jokes

What does a French truck driver shout during Bastille Day?

Have a NICE day!

How could I forget, mate?

At an Australian parliament meeting, two guys were shouting back and forth and one said: "I am a country member!" and the other said: "Oh, I remember!"

What did the physics professor shout when he disproved Hooke's Law in early to mid March?

Spring break!

What did the soccer player shout to the baker who's cakes kept sticking to the tin?

LINE IT!

What is a whale's favorite song?

Shout.

Why did so many black people die in Vietnam?

Because when they shouted "GET DOWN!" they all started dancing.

What does a Japanese chef shout in bed?

Ooo mami! (Umami)

How are the Buffalo Bills like Billy Graham?

Both of them fill a stadium with 60,000 people shouting " "

Why should you never shout at a pirate?

Because it hurts their buccaneers. (Sorry it's lame, I just made it up)

How does a blonde call for her dog?

She puts two fingers in her mouth and then shouts "Max!".

How's my dad?

Dr:I'm afraid he's in critical condition *shout from inside room "You've never lived to up to your potential!"

Whose parrot sits on his shoulder shouting "Pieces of four"?

Short John Silver!

Why does Rilla get mad when he's in a race?

A. Because all his friends shout "GO-RILLA!"

How do you find a British person in a crowd?

1. Shout 0800 00 2. Wait for them to shout 1066.

How Do You Get Stoned in Ancient Rome?

Start shouting Jehovah.

What do Batman's parents shout when dinners ready?

NOTHING, BECAUSE THEY'RE DEAD.

Why did the knight run about shouting for a tin opener?

He had a bee in his suit of armour!

What do the Dallas Cowboys and the Rev. Billie Graham have in common?

Both can make 70,000 people stand up and shout "JESUS CHRIST!"

How do you make 30 senior citizens swear?

Shout "Bingo!" before them

What did Sean Connery say when a book from his cupboard fell on him?

I can only blame my shelf. Shout out to /r/shubreddit

Why is ur wife shouting at you?

Friend: she told me to upload her photo in FB, I uploaded in OLX... Mistakes do happen

What did Gordon Ramsey shout angrily at his girlfriend?

IT'S ALL PINK IN THE MIDDLE

What's the difference between Here and There?

When you're right the whole room shouts "Here, here!" But when you're wrong one person pats you on the back and says "There, there."

What did GabeN tell his wife when she shouted "shut your hole" at him?

Babe, it's a valve!

Who's the most unpopular person at the Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch football match?

The person who shouted "Give me an L!"

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Spring Jokes More Spring Jokes

What season is it when you are on a trampoline?

Spring time :D I'm not funny (..)

Where do bros go for spring break?

Gainzville.

Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

What's the difference between a married man and a bachelor?

A bachelor will go to the fridge, sees nothing he wants, and go to bed A married man will go the bed, sees nothing he wants, and go the fridge!

What's my type?

Someone who is supportive. Someone who is warm. Someone I can just curl up and relax with. Wait I'm describing my bed again.

1 Jokes More 1 Jokes

Why is Jeopardy the #1 show in the U.S.?

Because Michael Douglas starred in "Double Jeopardy" in 1999.

How many Anime characters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only 1, but it takes them 15 episodes to do it.

Forget Jokes More Forget Jokes

What's worse: Alzheimer or Parkinson?

Alzheimer. I'd rather drink my beer shaking than forget to to drink it.

How to have an unforgettable date?

1. Have a date. 2. Try not to forget it.

Deaf Man Jokes More Deaf Man Jokes

Why was the deaf man sighing and shaking his head in disgust when he looked over at his next door neighbour?

Because she was *airing her dirty laundry*!!!

Line Jokes More Line Jokes

What's your favorite pick up line?

Mine is the Ford F Series.

What do you get when you have barbie dolls standing in a line?

A barbie queue (BBQ)! Also, I made a quick sketch on my iPad. I found the genesis to this joke as a text note in my Evernote this morning, after what seemed like a night of free flow beers. Feel free to downvote me to oblivion.

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

How many dwarves does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two one to hold the bulb and the other to serve him beer until the room starts spinning.

Who started the campfire website?

Some bright spark.

French Jokes More French Jokes

Who is the most famous French ant?

Napoleant!

Why did the French Hen give up her job?

One day she'd just had un uf.