How does Ebenezer Scrooge make phone calls?

Collect!

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What am I supposed to do with this speeding ticket?

Officer, "Keep it, when you collect four of them, you get a bicycle."

How many of the commemorative state quarters have you collected?

I have 40.

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How does Ebenezer Scrooge make phone calls?

Collect!

What does Ebenezer Scrooge serve at his Christmas Party?

Humburgers!

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What type of plant can you use to make phone calls?

A telefern

How does a barber make phone calls?

He cuts them short.