What mammal dies after it mates?

Anyone that goes near my wife!

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

How many women have you slept with wife asked husband, "How many women have you slept with?

He proudly replied, "Only you, Darling. With all the others I was awake."

What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?

50 pounds.

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Why do women make better soldiers?

Because they can bleed for a week and not die.

What happens in a battle between storm troopers and red shirts?

Star Trek) The storm troopers all miss, and the red shirts all die

Mate Jokes More Mate Jokes

Why was the chess player pregnant?

Because they were mated.

Which phone is most sold in Australia?

The htc M8. Oi mate