Mate Jokes

What do you call seagulls during mating season?

Relationshipgulls

Everyday Deserves a Joke

$19.99

What's the mating call of a sorority girl?

O My GOd! I am so drunk.

What mammal dies after it mates?

Anyone that goes near my wife!

Which phone is most sold in Australia?

The htc M8. Oi mate

What did the pirate say after his first-mate stuck the wheel in his pants?

ARGHH! You're driving me nuts!

Why can't Stevie Wonder see his mates?

Because he's married.

Why do owls not mate when it's raining?

Toowet Towoo

How the hell did you get a body like that?

He asked. "Thanks," I said, "That's very flattering." He said, "Not really mate."

Why can't Australians play chess?

They keep saying check, mate.

Who says Jesus couldn't perform miracles?

He managed to find mates named Matthew, Mark, Luke and John hanging around in the Middle East.

Who did the sea captain lose his virginity to?

His first mate

Couple's Daily Question Mug

$19.99

Why couldn't the t-rex find a mate?

Because he had a reptile dysfunction.

What do you get when you mate an elephant with a poodle?

A poodle split in half.

Why do Pandas have such a hard time mating in captivity?

Because all of their broads are in Atlanta

What did the Navy battleship captain say to his first mate during a skirmish?

OC I think I'm feeling C6

Why did a pair of tomatoes play footsie?

To-mate-toes!

Why do the /r/jokes moderators like chess?

It's the only chance they have to mate.

What does a cow call his mate?

Oxfam.

You might also enjoy:

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

Why should a man never bang his best friend?

He'll probably catch fleas

What do you call a man in the middle of the ocean with no arms or legs?

Bob

Couple Jokes More Couple Jokes

When I was a little boy I asked my mum 'how many is a couple?

She replied 'oh, two or three' Now I know why her marriage didn't last long

What did the stork say to the couple?

Sorry mates Im out of babes (its a linguistic joke)

Greet Jokes More Greet Jokes

How did Maxwell greet Ampre?

Good Faraday to you, sir!

What did the German baker say to greet his customers?

Gluten tag!

Old Joke Jokes More Old Joke Jokes

What do you call an old joke which someone has put on r/jokes?

A historepost.

What's the difference between an old joke and a new one?

Nothing. We're on reddit

M Jokes More M Jokes

What's it like being a grown up?

Me hands her money: When we get to the movies, buy a large popcorn. 10: This is only $2 M: Exactly

Why couldn't The Doctor play baseball?

They couldn't figure out Who was on first (Sorry, if this has been submitted before, im new here)

South Korean Jokes More South Korean Jokes

What does a South Korean call their lover?

Their Seoul Mate.

What's the difference between South Korean BBQ and American BBQ?

South Korean BBQ has more Seoul

Lay Jokes More Lay Jokes

What do you get when......you cross a religious skeptic, a dyslexic, and an insomniac?

A person who lays awake at night wondering if there really is a dog.

What did the chicken say after laying an egg?

Oeuf!

Flat Mate Jokes More Flat Mate Jokes

What do you get if King Kong sits on your best friend?

A flat mate.

Why Did The Hedgehog Cross The Road?

Because he wanted to see his flat mate.