Mate Jokes

What do you call seagulls during mating season?

Relationshipgulls

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What mammal dies after it mates?

Anyone that goes near my wife!

Which phone is most sold in Australia?

The htc M8. Oi mate

What did the pirate say after his first-mate stuck the wheel in his pants?

ARGHH! You're driving me nuts!

Why can't Stevie Wonder see his mates?

Because he's married.

Why do owls not mate when it's raining?

Toowet Towoo

Why can't Australians play chess?

They keep saying check, mate.

Who says Jesus couldn't perform miracles?

He managed to find mates named Matthew, Mark, Luke and John hanging around in the Middle East.

Who did the sea captain lose his virginity to?

His first mate

Why couldn't the t-rex find a mate?

Because he had a reptile dysfunction.

Why do Pandas have such a hard time mating in captivity?

Because all of their broads are in Atlanta

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Why did a pair of tomatoes play footsie?

To-mate-toes!

What does a cow call his mate?

Oxfam.

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How many Hillary supporters does it take to change a light bulb?

None. cmon, they'd much rather be kept in the dark.

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

What did Haley Joel Osment find at the top of Mt. Everest?

Icy Dead People

What does a mathematicion find in a forest?

A natural log.

Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

Why did the spy stay in bed?

To stay under cover.

What's the diff between a rich man and a poor man?

Rich man has a canopy over the bed, and a poor man has a can o' pee under the bed

Mate Season Jokes More Mate Season Jokes

What do you call seagulls during mating season?

Relationshipgulls

What do you call insects of the order Mantodea during mating season?

Laying mantises.

Stork Jokes More Stork Jokes

What did the stork say to the couple?

Sorry mates Im out of babes (its a linguistic joke)

Why does a stork stand on one leg?

If he didn't, he would fall.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What did the car say when it's front wheels were stolen?

I don't want to go anywhere. I'm two tired.

Why did the student study in an airplane?

He wanted a higher education!

Prime Mate Jokes More Prime Mate Jokes

What did the boy monkey say to the girl monkey?

You're a prime mate!

What did the Gorilla call his first wife?

His prime-mate!

Coffee Bean Jokes More Coffee Bean Jokes

What do coffee beans say to scare their friends?

Brew.

Where did the coffee bean find his soul mate?

Grinder (Thanks, Ellen)