Mate Jokes

What do you call seagulls during mating season?

Relationshipgulls

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What's the mating call of a sorority girl?

O My GOd! I am so drunk.

What mammal dies after it mates?

Anyone that goes near my wife!

Which phone is most sold in Australia?

The htc M8. Oi mate

What did the pirate say after his first-mate stuck the wheel in his pants?

ARGHH! You're driving me nuts!

Why can't Stevie Wonder see his mates?

Because he's married.

Why do owls not mate when it's raining?

Toowet Towoo

How the hell did you get a body like that?

He asked. "Thanks," I said, "That's very flattering." He said, "Not really mate."

Why can't Australians play chess?

They keep saying check, mate.

Who says Jesus couldn't perform miracles?

He managed to find mates named Matthew, Mark, Luke and John hanging around in the Middle East.

Who did the sea captain lose his virginity to?

His first mate

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Why couldn't the t-rex find a mate?

Because he had a reptile dysfunction.

What do you get when you mate an elephant with a poodle?

A poodle split in half.

Why do Pandas have such a hard time mating in captivity?

Because all of their broads are in Atlanta

What did the Navy battleship captain say to his first mate during a skirmish?

OC I think I'm feeling C6

Why did a pair of tomatoes play footsie?

To-mate-toes!

Why do the /r/jokes moderators like chess?

It's the only chance they have to mate.

What does a cow call his mate?

Oxfam.

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South Korean Jokes More South Korean Jokes

What does a South Korean call their lover?

Their Seoul Mate.

What's the difference between South Korean BBQ and American BBQ?

South Korean BBQ has more Seoul

Prime Mate Jokes More Prime Mate Jokes

What do you call 2 algebraists who marry?

Prime mates

Why did the man marry a monkey?

Because he wanted a PRIME-MATE! sorry...sorry twice if this is an old joke

Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

What do you get when you cross a muppet with the Loch Ness Monster?

Messie.

Where do American bees store their honey?

In a USBee hive. Thank my ten year old for that one.

Mate Season Jokes More Mate Season Jokes

What do you call insects of the order Mantodea during mating season?

Laying mantises.

What do you call seagulls during mating season?

Relationshipgulls

Nurse Jokes More Nurse Jokes

What's this bit here?

NURSE: ...his heart ME: Hm. NURSE: Your resume said you were a surgeon ME: My resume says a lot of things

What did the nurse say to John Cena?

ICU.

Australian Jokes More Australian Jokes

What's an Australian's favorite element?

Gold

What does an Australian chemist call is bro?

Bromate Sorry, just studying my poly atomic ions and thought I was clever. I thought wrong

Pick Jokes More Pick Jokes

Where can you go to pick up black birds?

The crow bar

Why was the man arrested for looking at sets of dentures in a dentist's window?

Because it was against the law to pick your teeth in public.

Remember Jokes More Remember Jokes

Why Would Clint Eastwood be Bad at Restructuring a Business?

He can't remember if he fired 5 or 6.

What do Tempurpedic mattresses and raptors have in common?

They remember