Mate Jokes

What do you call seagulls during mating season?

Relationshipgulls

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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What mammal dies after it mates?

Anyone that goes near my wife!

Which phone is most sold in Australia?

The htc M8. Oi mate

What did the pirate say after his first-mate stuck the wheel in his pants?

ARGHH! You're driving me nuts!

Why can't Stevie Wonder see his mates?

Because he's married.

Why do owls not mate when it's raining?

Toowet Towoo

Why can't Australians play chess?

They keep saying check, mate.

Who says Jesus couldn't perform miracles?

He managed to find mates named Matthew, Mark, Luke and John hanging around in the Middle East.

Who did the sea captain lose his virginity to?

His first mate

Why couldn't the t-rex find a mate?

Because he had a reptile dysfunction.

Why do Pandas have such a hard time mating in captivity?

Because all of their broads are in Atlanta

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Why did a pair of tomatoes play footsie?

To-mate-toes!

What does a cow call his mate?

Oxfam.

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Old Joke Jokes More Old Joke Jokes

Why did the man marry a monkey?

Because he wanted a PRIME-MATE! sorry...sorry twice if this is an old joke

What's the most oldest joke in the world?

The human race.

Ellen Jokes More Ellen Jokes

Where did the coffee bean find his soul mate?

Grinder (Thanks, Ellen)

Marry Jokes More Marry Jokes

Why couldn't Stevie Wonder see his friends?

Because he was married.

What type of fruit is not allowed to get married?

Cantaloupe...

Remember Jokes More Remember Jokes

How do you remember your wedding anniversary?

Forget it once.

Why do bees hum?

Because they can't remember the lyrics

Babe Jokes More Babe Jokes

Who do they get for Babe the pig's dangerous movie scenes?

A stunt ham.

What did the stork say to the couple?

Sorry mates Im out of babes (its a linguistic joke)

Australian Jokes More Australian Jokes

How does an Australian call his friend from the Czech Republic?

Czechmate

How does an Australian shave?

Rise up lights

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

What did the electrical engineer do when she found out that she hadn't won the lottery?

She soldered on.

Where can you find an ocean without any water?

On a map!

Sorry Mate Jokes More Sorry Mate Jokes

What did the stork say to the couple?

Sorry mates Im out of babes (its a linguistic joke)

What do you say when your opponent resigns after you take their queen?

Sorry mate.