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Why did a pair of tomatoes play footsie?

To-mate-toes!

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How is this joke similar to a musical about a thesaurus?

Both are a play on words.

What happens when you play the drums incorrectly?

You get repercussions

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What mammal dies after it mates?

Anyone that goes near my wife!

Which phone is most sold in Australia?

The htc M8. Oi mate

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What do you call a pair of nervous wigwams?

Too tense.

What do you say when you find two banana peels together?

A pair of slipper

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Who ate those tomatoes?

Tom ate those.

What's red and invisible at the same time?

No tomatoes.