Pair Jokes

How was Rome split in half?

With a pair of Caesars...

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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What do you call two pears?

A pair.

What do you call a slightly incomplete Yahtzee set?

Pair o' Dice Lost

What's below the Pyrenees?

A pair of ankles

How many tropical Birds Does it take to Screw in a Lightbulb?

Well, turns out one is not enough, but if you pair it, two can.

Why did the iPhone 7 cross the road?

To buy another pair of AirPods.

Why would you wear two pairs of pants while golfing?

You might get a hole in one.

What do you call two doctors with the same career?

Pair of medics.

What do you call two guys on a pair of curtains?

Kurt n Rod.

Why are they called Tuna Fish?

Because they don't swim in pairs. Are there two of those fish? Nahhh.

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Incase he got a hole in one. HEHE one of my favs. Whats your fav joke?

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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Why can't two elephants go swimming?

They only have one pair of trunks.

How did Watson and crick blow their chance with a hot girl?

They said, "baby you'd look good if you got a pair of skinny genes"

Why does Tiger Woods bring two pair of pants during a golf game?

Its in case he gets a hole-in-one.

Why did the belt get locked up?

He held up a pair of pants.

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of trousers?

In case he got a hole in one.

What do you call a pair of snakeskin trousers?

Serpants.

What do you call two banana peels?

A pair of slippers!

Why could the crab not find a pair of shoes in his size?

Child labor laws forced all the shoe factories to shut down.

How did the Romans split up their empire?

With a pair of Caesars. (Thanks)

Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants?

In case they get a hole in one!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Why did the belt get arrested?

Because it held up a pair of pants.

Why did the suspenders get arrested?

Because they held up a pair of pants.

What do you say when you find two banana peels together?

A pair of slipper

How do you go about hiring a horse?

Try two pairs of stilts!

Why can't you have two Apple watches?

Because then it would be a pair (pear)!

What do you get if cross two young dogs with a pair of headphones?

Hush puppies!

Why doesn't The Rock just tell us what he's cooking?

I can't pair wines like this.

Why did the bowler bring two pairs of pants?

He wanted a spare in case he had a split.

What is a pair of sheep's favorite instrument?

Two-Baaas.

Why did the gambler think he was in heaven?

He found his pair a' dice!

Why should you bring two pairs of pants when you golf?

In case you get a hole-in-one (stolen from some girl at school)

What's better than a paradox?

A pair of nurses

What do you call a duck traveling south that enters a time warp and meets itself traveling north?

A pair of ducks.

Why did the golfer wear two pair of pants?

In case he got a hole in one.

Why didn't the two worms get on Noah's Ark in an apple?

Because everyone had to go on in pairs!

What did the pair of flip-flops say to the approaching man with disgusting feet?

Shoe.

Why were the suspenders arrested?

For holding up a pair of pants.

What do you call a pair of twins who live together?

Womb-mates

What would you call two bananas?

A pair of slippers.

What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-bachs.

What pair of shoes could the ginger only wear?

The pair with no sole.

What's better than a pair of Emerency Medical Technicians?

A paramedic(s)!

What do you get when you cross a telephone with a pair of pants?

Bell-bottoms!

Whats better than winning a medal at the paralympics?

A pair of legs.

How does a pair of pants feel when it is ironed?

Depressed.

What kind of pants does agent Mulder wear?

Just a pair 'a normal pants.

How was the Roman Empire cut in two?

With a pair of Caesars.

What do you call an ant with five pairs of eyes?

Antteneye!

Why did you buy me a pair of bunny ears?

I wanted you to have a hoppy birthday!

How are a pair of skinny jeans like a cheap motel?

No ballroom

Why does a golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he gets a hole in one!

Where do you park Two Ships of Theseus?

At a Pair of Docks

Why do toucans only go camping in pairs?

So they can bring two canopies.

What makes an ideal present for a monster?

Five pairs of gloves one for each hand.

Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?

In case he got a hole-in-one.

Why should you always take two pairs of trousers when you play golf?

In case you get a hole in one!

What do you call two line dancers doing the dance Shoot the Rooster?

A. A Pair of Shoot (parachute)

Why did a pair of tomatoes play footsie?

To-mate-toes!

Why did the man use a pair of scissors on the rope?

The knife just wasn't cutting it.

What would you call two banana skins?

A pair of slippers.

How do you divide old Rome?

Using a pair of Caesars.

What do you call a pair of nervous wigwams?

Too tense.

I dropped a pear in my car this morning.

You should drop another one, then you would have a pair.

Why did the belt go to prison?

He held up a pair of pants!

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Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many Freudian psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the ladder and one to screw your mother - I mean light bulb!

How many engineers do you need to change a lightbulb?

You can take as many as you want but they will only give you the screwing direction.

Medic Jokes More Medic Jokes

What do you call the medic in a K9 unit?

A dogtor.

What do you call two doctors with the same career?

Pair of medics.

Career Jokes More Career Jokes

Why did the archaeologist go bankrupt?

Because his career was in ruins

What's an archaeologist?

Someone whose career is in ruins.

Screw Lightbulb Jokes More Screw Lightbulb Jokes

How Many Martians Does It Take to Screw In a Lightbulb?

At least two, but they have to be pretty small to fit.

How many tropical Birds Does it take to Screw in a Lightbulb?

Well, turns out one is not enough, but if you pair it, two can.

Caesar Jokes More Caesar Jokes

What did the Ancient Romans use to cut their hair?

Caesars.

What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus?

Irritable Brawls in Rome

Pear Jokes More Pear Jokes

What did the apple say to the pear?

Man, go away!

What got the apple into skydiving?

Pear pressure.

Hole Jokes More Hole Jokes

What do you call a boat with a hole?

A sink.

Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?

In case they get a hole in one!

Ethiopian Jokes More Ethiopian Jokes

What's the fastest land animal on earth?

An Ethiopian chicken

How do Ethiopians celebrate their kids first birthday?

By putting flowers on the grave.