Caesar Jokes

What did Caesar say when he went to the whorehouse?

Veni Vidi Veni

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Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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How was Rome split in half?

With a pair of Caesars...

What do you call a hen staring at a lettuce?

A chicken Caesar salad.

What is Lil Wayne's favorite food?

Caesar salad

What did Caesar say when he ran into his friend at a music lesson?

Etude, Brute?

What did Octavian say when he stormed Cleopatra's gardens?

Caesar salad

How did the Roman cut his hair?

Caesar

What did the Ancient Romans use to cut their hair?

Caesars.

Whats the difference between Caesar and Casanova?

Caesar said:"I came, I saw, I conquered." Casanova said:"I saw, I conquered, I came."

What did Caesar say when was in agreement?

I came. I saw. I concurred.

What did Caesar say when playing battleship?

A2 Brute.

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Couple's Daily Question Mug

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What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus?

Irritable Brawls in Rome

What do Romans say when their wives run away?

Caesar!

What did Caesar say to Cleopatra?

Toga-ether we can rule the world!

When did Caesar reign?

I didn't know he reigned. Of course he did didn't they hail him

Who's there! Caesar! Caesar who?

Caesar quickly before she gets away!

What did Caesar say after crossing the river Rubicon?

Can someone get me some dry socks

How do you divide old Rome?

Using a pair of Caesars.

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What is the difference between Emo teenagers and your lawn?

Your lawn won't cut itself.

What kind of engine did you put in it?

Cut to me filling my car with tomato soup* Me: Um... A fast one.

Cleopatra Jokes More Cleopatra Jokes

What did Octavian say when he stormed Cleopatra's gardens?

Caesar salad

Why was Cleopatra so negative?

Because she was queen of denial.

Pair Jokes More Pair Jokes

Whats better than winning a medal at the paralympics?

A pair of legs.

How does a pair of pants feel when it is ironed?

Depressed.

Salad Jokes More Salad Jokes

What do you call a room full of comatose people?

A salad.

What did the salad say as it was thrown into jail?

Lettuce Go!

Roman Empire Jokes More Roman Empire Jokes

How do you cut the Roman Empire in half?

With a pair of Caesars!

How was the roman empire cut in half?

With a pair of caesars

Brute Jokes More Brute Jokes

What did Caesar say when he ran into his friend at a music lesson?

Etude, Brute?

What did Julius Caesar ask when finding a color to paint the Senate?

Ecru, Brute

Hispanic Jokes More Hispanic Jokes

What about Asians and Hispanics?

What they really need is Nonwhitepeoplemeet.com

How does a neckbeard neurologist address a Hispanic midwife who can't quit her job?

M'doula obligada.

Conquer Jokes More Conquer Jokes

What did the sun say after melting Frosty the Snowman?

I came, I thaw, I conquered.

Who ate a lot and conquered Rome?

Atilla the Hungry.