Caesar Jokes

What did Caesar say when he went to the whorehouse?

Veni Vidi Veni

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How was Rome split in half?

With a pair of Caesars...

What do you call a hen staring at a lettuce?

A chicken Caesar salad.

What is Lil Wayne's favorite food?

Caesar salad

What did Caesar say when he ran into his friend at a music lesson?

Etude, Brute?

What did Octavian say when he stormed Cleopatra's gardens?

Caesar salad

How did the Roman cut his hair?

Caesar

What did the Ancient Romans use to cut their hair?

Caesars.

Whats the difference between Caesar and Casanova?

Caesar said:"I came, I saw, I conquered." Casanova said:"I saw, I conquered, I came."

What did Caesar say when was in agreement?

I came. I saw. I concurred.

What did Caesar say when playing battleship?

A2 Brute.

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What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus?

Irritable Brawls in Rome

What do Romans say when their wives run away?

Caesar!

What did Caesar say to Cleopatra?

Toga-ether we can rule the world!

When did Caesar reign?

I didn't know he reigned. Of course he did didn't they hail him

What did Caesar say after crossing the river Rubicon?

Can someone get me some dry socks

How do you divide old Rome?

Using a pair of Caesars.

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How was the roman empire cut in half?

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How was the Roman Empire cut in two?

With a pair of Caesars.

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What do you call tiny Batman?

Lil Wayne

What kind of pizza does Lil Wayne like?

Little seizures.

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Where did Julius Caesar keep his armies?

In his sleevies.

What's the difference between Julius Caesar and Genghis Khan?

Caesar: "I came, I saw, I conquered." Khan: "I conquered, I saw, I came."

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What's the difference between Julius Caesar and Genghis Khan?

Caesar: "I came, I saw, I conquered." Khan: "I conquered, I saw, I came."

What did the sun say after melting Frosty the Snowman?

I came, I thaw, I conquered.

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What do you call a Mexican firefighter?

Jos

What did the Mexican firefighter name his two kids?

Jose and Hose-B

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Why did the tear testify in court?

Because he was an eye wetness.

What has no eyes and four legs?

No idea.

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What did Caesar say when playing battleship?

A2 Brute.

What did Julius Caesar ask when finding a color to paint the Senate?

Ecru, Brute

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What did Caesar say when he ran into his friend at a music lesson?

Etude, Brute?

Why did the boy who rode his bike over a barbed wire fence miss his music lesson?

Because he'd already done the sharps and flats.