Caesar Jokes

What did Caesar say when he went to the whorehouse?

Veni Vidi Veni

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How was Rome split in half?

With a pair of Caesars...

What do you call a hen staring at a lettuce?

A chicken Caesar salad.

What is Lil Wayne's favorite food?

Caesar salad

What did Caesar say when he ran into his friend at a music lesson?

Etude, Brute?

What did Octavian say when he stormed Cleopatra's gardens?

Caesar salad

How did the Roman cut his hair?

Caesar

What did the Ancient Romans use to cut their hair?

Caesars.

Whats the difference between Caesar and Casanova?

Caesar said:"I came, I saw, I conquered." Casanova said:"I saw, I conquered, I came."

What did Caesar say when was in agreement?

I came. I saw. I concurred.

What did Caesar say when playing battleship?

A2 Brute.

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What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus?

Irritable Brawls in Rome

What do Romans say when their wives run away?

Caesar!

What did Caesar say to Cleopatra?

Toga-ether we can rule the world!

When did Caesar reign?

I didn't know he reigned. Of course he did didn't they hail him

What did Caesar say after crossing the river Rubicon?

Can someone get me some dry socks

How do you divide old Rome?

Using a pair of Caesars.

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What is zero in Roman numerals?

Nothing

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A Julius Seizure.

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What do you call a Knight that cuts beef?

Sir Loin.

What do you get when you cut up an avagadro?

Guaca**mole**y edit: how do I make it not say this joke is Dirty

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They have lots of children.

Why did the Mexican throw his wife over the cliff?

Tequila

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They wanted to see what a winning team looked like.

What's black and looks good on a lawyer?

An unconvicted felon.

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What did Caesar say when he ran into his friend at a music lesson?

Etude, Brute?

Why did the boy who rode his bike over a barbed wire fence miss his music lesson?

Because he'd already done the sharps and flats.

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What did Caesar say to Cleopatra?

Toga-ether we can rule the world!

Why was Cleopatra so negative?

Because she was queen of denial.

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What do Hispanic midgets cut their pizza with?

Little Caesar's