Roman Jokes

What's a pirate's favourite Roman numeral?

You might think it's II, but his true love be the C.

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Why can't Roman Reigns light a campfire?

Because he doesn't carry any matches!

Why did the Romans pay their soldiers in salt?

So they would end up with seasoned veterans.

What did the Roman say when the Greek accused him of stealing his gods?

It was all a myth-take!

What do you call a lost legion?

A Roman army

How many Roman pirates does it take to change a light bulb?

I I

What is zero in Roman numerals?

Nothing

How did the Roman cut his hair?

Caesar

What did the Ancient Romans use to cut their hair?

Caesars.

What do you get when you ask for a Roman pinch hitter?

An Italian sub!

What do Romans use to cut their pizza?

Little Caesars.

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How did Roman magistrates keep fit?

Pontius Pilates.

How did the Romans split up their empire?

With a pair of Caesars. (Thanks)

Why was the dieting Roman so thrilled?

His toga size went from L to XL.

What was a poor Roman citizen's favorite breakfast?

Fruity Plebbles.

How many Romans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Why did the Romans build straight roads?

So their soldiers didn't go around the bend!

Why didn't the Romans find algebra very challenging?

Because X was always 10

What do Romans say when their wives run away?

Caesar!

What mouse was a Roman emperor?

Julius Cheeser!

What do you call a Roman with pubic hair in his teeth?

Gladiator

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What is it called when a Roman gets really sick?

Chicken Pox Romana

What do you call a smiling Roman with a hair in his teeth?

Gladiator.

Why are 490 Romans are funny?

Because XD Edit: Sorry about the typo the second are is not supposed to be here

What people travel the most?

Romans.

What is a Roman wrestlers favorite meal?

JOHN CENA

What do you call a Roman with a hair in his teeth?

Gladiator.

What did Romans use to cut pizza before the rolling cutter was invented?

Lil Caesars

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Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

What kind of khakis do birds wear?

Khakaws!

Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.

Crucify Jokes More Crucify Jokes

How did Jesus feel when they crucified him?

He was cross.

What was Jesus' reaction to being crucified?

He was cross.

True Love Jokes More True Love Jokes

What do ghosts call their true love?

Their ghoul-friend

What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off?

Spitting, swallowing, and gargling.

Season Veteran Jokes More Season Veteran Jokes

What do you call an old soldier who has been sprinkled in salt and pepper?

A seasoned veteran.

What do you call a retired soldier who's been blighted with mustard gas and pepper spray?

A seasoned veteran

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a hunter and a stalker?

The hunter has to wait until it's in season!

What difference does an "A" make?

Between NASA and NSA--it's astronomical.

Read Jokes More Read Jokes

When do e-mails stop being in black and white?

When they are read.

What's a cats favorite thing to read?

A CATalog

V Jokes More V Jokes

When Geese fly in a "V" formation, do you know why one side of the "V" is longer?

There's more geese on that side.

Why is one side of the V always longer than the other when geese are flying south for the winter?

It's because there are more geese on that side.

Hi Jokes More Hi Jokes

What did the little mountain say to the big mountain?

Hi, Cliff

How many frat boys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Four. One to change the bulb, three to stand around so he has someone to hi-five after.