Roman Jokes

What's a pirate's favourite Roman numeral?

You might think it's II, but his true love be the C.

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Why can't Roman Reigns light a campfire?

Because he doesn't carry any matches!

Why did the Romans pay their soldiers in salt?

So they would end up with seasoned veterans.

What did the Roman say when the Greek accused him of stealing his gods?

It was all a myth-take!

What do you call a lost legion?

A Roman army

How many Roman pirates does it take to change a light bulb?

I I

What is zero in Roman numerals?

Nothing

How did the Roman cut his hair?

Caesar

What did the Ancient Romans use to cut their hair?

Caesars.

What do you get when you ask for a Roman pinch hitter?

An Italian sub!

What did Jesus say to the romans after he rose on the third day and talked about their behavior?

Yall nailed it.

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What do Romans use to cut their pizza?

Little Caesars.

What did the Romans say to each other after crucifying Jesus?

Nailed it!

How did Roman magistrates keep fit?

Pontius Pilates.

What did the old Frankish barbarians say to the Roman invasion?

You don't have the to do it!

How did the Romans split up their empire?

With a pair of Caesars. (Thanks)

Why was the dieting Roman so thrilled?

His toga size went from L to XL.

What was a poor Roman citizen's favorite breakfast?

Fruity Plebbles.

What's it called when a Roman sees too many flashing colors?

A Julius Seizure.

How many Romans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Why did the Romans build straight roads?

So their soldiers didn't go around the bend!

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Why didn't the Romans find algebra very challenging?

Because X was always 10

What do Romans say when their wives run away?

Caesar!

What mouse was a Roman emperor?

Julius Cheeser!

What do you call a Roman with pubic hair in his teeth?

Gladiator

What is it called when a Roman gets really sick?

Chicken Pox Romana

What do you call a smiling Roman with a hair in his teeth?

Gladiator.

What taste good?

Tender: I usually like rum in Diet Coke. Man: how do you get a Roman in a Diet Coke Tender: *facepalm*

Why did the roman only smoke 490 blunts and not 500?

Because

Why are 490 Romans are funny?

Because XD Edit: Sorry about the typo the second are is not supposed to be here

What people travel the most?

Romans.

What is a Roman wrestlers favorite meal?

JOHN CENA

What do you call a Roman with a hair in his teeth?

Gladiator.

What Roman dictator suffered from Epilepsy?

Julius Seizure.

What did Romans use to cut pizza before the rolling cutter was invented?

Lil Caesars

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What word starts with F and ends in uck?

Firetruck. The answer is Firetruck.

What do wives and shingles have in common?

If you don't nail them right, they'll end up at your neighbor's.

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Why did Helen Keller stop cleaning her dishes?

She was running out of things to read.

How do snowmen read their e-mails?

With an icy-stare!

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What's the difference between your sister and a washing machine?

A washing machine only takes one load at a time.

What's the difference between a toilet and a graveyard?

Nothing. When you have to go, you have to go.

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Why did Vanilla Ice steal a can of hair spray?

Because the label said, "Contents Under Pressure" Got this joke from my brother

Which birds steal soap from the bath?

Robber ducks!

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What's the difference between Frenchmen and some toast?

You can make soldiers out of toast!

What do you call a soldier who survived pepper spray and mustard gas?

A seasoned veteran

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When Greek people play a video game, what settings do they use?

Default

What do you call a stabilizing Greek?

A.... GYROScope

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