Roman Jokes

What's a pirate's favourite Roman numeral?

You might think it's II, but his true love be the C.

April Sale

Couple's Daily Question Mug

$14.99 $19.99

Why can't Roman Reigns light a campfire?

Because he doesn't carry any matches!

Why did the Romans pay their soldiers in salt?

So they would end up with seasoned veterans.

Why should you never high-five a Roman?

They might give you Hi-V back!

What do you call a Roman with a wet mustache and a smile?

Gladiator.

What did the Roman say when the Greek accused him of stealing his gods?

It was all a myth-take!

What do you call a lost legion?

A Roman army

How many Roman pirates does it take to change a light bulb?

I I

What is zero in Roman numerals?

Nothing

How did the Roman cut his hair?

Caesar

What did the Ancient Romans use to cut their hair?

Caesars.

April Sale

Birthday State of Mind

$5.99

What do you get when you ask for a Roman pinch hitter?

An Italian sub!

What did Jesus say to the romans after he rose on the third day and talked about their behavior?

Yall nailed it.

What do Romans use to cut their pizza?

Little Caesars.

What did the Romans say to each other after crucifying Jesus?

Nailed it!

Why are 490 Romans funny?

Because

How did Roman magistrates keep fit?

Pontius Pilates.

What did the old Frankish barbarians say to the Roman invasion?

You don't have the to do it!

Why was Jesus I such good shape?

Crossfit. Why did the Romans hate Jesus so much? He wouldn't shut up about crossfit.

How did the Romans split up their empire?

With a pair of Caesars. (Thanks)

What did the Roman premature ejaculater say?

Veni, Vidi, Veni.

April Sale

We've Got This Love Thing Down

$5.99

Why was the dieting Roman so thrilled?

His toga size went from L to XL.

What was a poor Roman citizen's favorite breakfast?

Fruity Plebbles.

What's it called when a Roman sees too many flashing colors?

A Julius Seizure.

How many Romans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Why did the Romans build straight roads?

So their soldiers didn't go around the bend!

Why didn't the Romans find algebra very challenging?

Because X was always 10

What do Romans say when their wives run away?

Caesar!

What mouse was a Roman emperor?

Julius Cheeser!

What do you call a Roman with pubic hair in his teeth?

Gladiator

What is it called when a Roman gets really sick?

Chicken Pox Romana

April Sale

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

$14.99 $19.99

What do you call a smiling Roman with a hair in his teeth?

Gladiator.

What taste good?

Tender: I usually like rum in Diet Coke. Man: how do you get a Roman in a Diet Coke Tender: *facepalm*

Why did the roman only smoke 490 blunts and not 500?

Because

Why are 490 Romans are funny?

Because XD Edit: Sorry about the typo the second are is not supposed to be here

What people travel the most?

Romans.

What is a Roman wrestlers favorite meal?

JOHN CENA

What do you call a Roman with a hair in his teeth?

Gladiator.

What Roman dictator suffered from Epilepsy?

Julius Seizure.

What did Romans use to cut pizza before the rolling cutter was invented?

Lil Caesars

You might also enjoy:

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

What do you call a man who cuts down trees?

A tree feller.

Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?

The baa-baa shop.

Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

Who pays?

Germany.

How does the Pope pay for things online?

Papal

Campfire Jokes More Campfire Jokes

What kinds of stories do dolphins tell around the campfire?

They're just ghost stories for all in tents and porpoises.

What does a cow like to do by a campfire?

Roast Moosmallows!

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What's a Monk's favorite breakfast food?

Well, they're vegetarians so probably not what you're thinking...

Why did the boy stand behind the horse?

He thought he might get a kick out of it!

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

What do you call a stolen Tesla?

An Edison

Who else would've stolen it?

You think a burglar broke in and was like "Cute top!"

Gladiator Jokes More Gladiator Jokes

What do you call a Roman with pubic hair in his teeth?

Gladiator

What do you call a guy going down on a girl with a smile on his face?

A Gladiator

Nail Jokes More Nail Jokes

How do you keep a baby from crawling in circles?

Nail the other hand to the floor.

What did Jesus say when he was nailed upon the cross?

Me! That hurts!

Accuse Jokes More Accuse Jokes

What did the Roman say when the Greek accused him of stealing his gods?

It was all a myth-take!

What crime is he accused of?

Vesicular Basalt