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How do you make God laugh?

Tell him your plans.

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Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Where should I put this horse?

When she tells you, say no

Why cant programmers tell the difference between Christmas and Thanksgiving?

Because oct 31 = dec 25

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How was school?

4: Trenton said his dad likes to go outside and fight lions - laughs - oh honey - nobody would name their kid Trenton

Why are you not laughing?

Cos I'm quitting today.

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What did the asteroid say when his trajectory missed earth?

I guess I didn't plan it very well!

Why did the melon plan a big elaborate wedding?

Because he cantaloupe.

God Jokes More God Jokes

What do you call someone who loves Christmas but doubts the existence of God?

Eggnog-stic.

Why did God bless Texas?

He didn't want to upset Chuck Norris.