What do you get when you ask for a Roman pinch hitter?

An Italian sub!

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Why are your eyes covered in ketchup?

I'm often asked by people: "Why are your eyes covered in ketchup " So I tell them it's because Heinz sight is 20/20.

What did Picard say when Riker asked him what kind of Chinese food he wanted?

Make it Tso's Number One.

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What did the Italian say when 6 curses were removed from him?

Hexagon.

Why couldn't the Italian get into his house?

Because he had gnocchi.

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What do you get when you ask for a Roman pinch hitter?

An Italian sub!

What do you call a smiling Roman with a hair in his teeth?

Gladiator.