What was Lincoln's worst decision as President?

He should have asked for a table, instead of a Booth

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What does the man with two left feet ask the shoe salesman?

Do you sell flip-flips?

What about the kids?

He asked. I said, "they're still together."

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What was Lincoln's worst decision as President?

He should have asked for a table, instead of a Booth

Who was the only president that was not guilty?

Lincoln. He was in a cent.

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What would you call the Easter egg roll if Bernie Sanders became president?

Weekend at Bernie's.

Where does the President keep his armies?

In his Baracks

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How do you get out?

You look in the mirror and see what you saw. Take the saw and saw the table in half. Two half's make a whole, go through the hole.

What did the retires baker say to the Dough on the table?

I don't knead you anymore.