What was Lincoln's worst decision as President?

He should have asked for a table, instead of a Booth

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How do you know he's a peeping tom?

Woman: "When I asked him what he was doing out there, he said 'I was trying to get a pikachu'".

When asked "why?

He replied, "Tropical Depression."

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Who was the only president that was not guilty?

Lincoln. He was in a cent.

Who was the least guilty President of the them all?

Lincoln. He was in-a-cent.

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Who would you like for president in 2020?

Anyone who doesn't have poor visions.

How are that many Republicans candidates supposed to debate each other at once?

Throw a dollar bill in the floor and let the last one alive run for president.

Table Jokes More Table Jokes

What do you call a couch, chair, and a table made out of plants?

Ferniture.

Whats your biggest weakness?

I'm bad at taking compliments" "Actually that's quite endearing" *Leaps across table, punches him in throat*