Lincoln Jokes

Which president was least guilty?

Lincoln, because he is in a cent.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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Who was the only president that was not guilty?

Lincoln. He was in a cent.

Where was Matthew McConaughey headed in those Lincoln commercials?

Dunno but I'm sure he made all rights all rights all rights.

Who was the least guilty President of the them all?

Lincoln. He was in-a-cent.

What was Lincoln's worst decision as President?

He should have asked for a table, instead of a Booth

Which president was the most logical?

Lincoln. He made the most cents.

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Night Jokes More Night Jokes

How can you go without sleep for seven days and not be tired?

Sleep at night

What is the difference between a hormone and an enzyme?

I didn't make an enzyme last night.

Cent Jokes More Cent Jokes

Why did the rich man go crazy?

He had one-million dollars, but no cents.

Why did the nickel jump off the building but the dime didn't?

The dime had more cents.

Set Jokes More Set Jokes

What is atheism?

A non-prophet religion Edit: Replace the word "religion" with "set of beliefs" if you're picky about that sort of thing

What did Abe Lincoln say after a night of drinking?

I set WHO free?

Bear Jokes More Bear Jokes

What do 12 year old Mexican girls and born-again christians have in common?

They both have a little Jesus in 'em...

Why didn't the bear go to college?

Because bears don't go to college.

Slay Jokes More Slay Jokes

What do Super Mario Brothers, and relationships have in common?

Sometimes you have to slay a few dragons before you get to the princess

Sense Jokes More Sense Jokes

What's good for the soul and rarely found in America?

A sense of humor.

Whats the difference between Congress and a US mint?

One of them makes sense!

Peyton Manning Jokes More Peyton Manning Jokes

What did Peyton Manning said to his younger brother about the new NFL rule?

ELI5 (explain me like I am five)

Why is it bad that Peyton Manning shilled for Budweiser?

Because he clearly owed the win to Miller.

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

What happened to Jesus when he tried to play defense on a professional Basketball player?

He got crossed.

Why don't lawyers enjoy playing golf?

Because it's too much like work what with all of the lying involved.