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Which president was least guilty?

Lincoln, because he is in a cent.

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Which president was the most logical?

Lincoln. He made the most cents.

Who was the least guilty President of the them all?

Lincoln. He was in-a-cent.

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Why can't Brock Turner go to jail?

Because with swim times like his, he might be president some day.

How do you know when a joke has gone too far?

It's elected President.

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What can be said about a rich man who doesn't carry change with him?

He's got more money than cents

How much did the critic tip the waiter?

Two cents