Cent Jokes

Which president was least guilty?

Lincoln, because he is in a cent.

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What happened to the minter who went crazy?

He stopped making cents.

Why do gas prices end with 9/10 of a penny?

It just makes cents.

How do you pay for incense?

In cents

What did Abe Lincoln say to the judge when he asked how he pleas?

I'm in a cent.

What did the penny say to the other penny?

Let's get together and make some cents.

Why didn't Abraham Lincoln go to jail?

Because he was in-a-cent!

Why do people throw coins into foutains?

Why do people throw coins into fountains? I don't know, doesn't make any cents.

Why didn't the cops ever charge Abraham Lincoln?

Because he was always in a cent.

Why did the rich man go crazy?

He had one-million dollars, but no cents.

Why is Abraham Lincoln on the Penny?

Because it makes cents (sense).

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What makes perfect sense?

The U.S. mint (cents)

How much did the critic tip the waiter?

Two cents

How much did the critic tip the waitor?

Two cents

What did Abe Lincoln say when he was arrested?

I'm-in-a-cent!

Why is a change machine easy to understand?

It makes cents.

Why is a coin factory so logical?

Because it makes cents.

Why is the Canadian Mint so confusing?

Because they don't make any cents.

Who was the least guilty President of the them all?

Lincoln. He was in-a-cent.

Why did the nickel jump of the building but the dime did not?

Because the dime had more cents.

Why didn't the cashier laugh at my joke?

It didn't make cents

Why did the nickel jump off the building but the dime didn't?

The dime had more cents.

Why was the skunk arrested for counterfeiting?

Because he gave out bad scents (cents).

Why did the Louvre tour guide work for pennies?

Because this docent makes any cents.

What can be said about a rich man who doesn't carry change with him?

He's got more money than cents

Why was the anomaly so poor?

Because it didn't make any cents!

Why is it easy to talk to people who earn little pay?

Because they make cents!

How much is a soft drink?

Waitress: Fifty cents. Girl: How much is refill Waitress: The first is free. Girl: Well then I'll have a refill.

Which president was the most logical?

Lincoln. He made the most cents.

What did the clerk say to the customer who tried to buy a candy bar with plastic quarters?

This is non-cents!

Why didn't the quarter roll down the hill with the nickle?

Because it had more cents

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Concert Jokes More Concert Jokes

What concert costs 45 cents?

A concert that costs 45 cents.

Which rock band always wash their hands before a concert?

OCDC

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What did Larry McMurtry say when his neighbor asked to borrow a bar of soap?

He said "Sure! I could loan some Dove".

What's the difference between Rihanna and Britney Spears?

Britney asked to be hit one more time..

Incense Jokes More Incense Jokes

What is the one smell you can never get out of the house, no matter what you spray or what incense you burn?

Your grandparents.

What's it called when a smell dates his sister?

Incense!

Throw Jokes More Throw Jokes

Why shouldn't you throw a rock at a Mexican riding a bike?

Because that might be your bike

How do you know if you are having a good time?

When you throw your knickers against the wall, and they stay there.

Lincoln Jokes More Lincoln Jokes

Who was the only president that was not guilty?

Lincoln. He was in a cent.

Where was Matthew McConaughey headed in those Lincoln commercials?

Dunno but I'm sure he made all rights all rights all rights.

Fountain Jokes More Fountain Jokes

What's the difference between a goldfish and a mountain goat?

Goldfish like to muck around the fountain.

Whats the difference between a fish and a mountain goat?

Fish muck about in fountains

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

Why would my wife ask if I was wearing this shirt when it's already on?

Stop talking in secret code.

What's the difference between Janet Reno and a school bus driver?

The bus driver stops to let the kids out.

45 Cent Jokes More 45 Cent Jokes

What concert can you go to for 45 cents?

50 Cent ft. Nickelback

What concert costs 45 cents?

A concert that costs 45 cents.