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What did Abe Lincoln say to the judge when he asked how he pleas?

I'm in a cent.

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What's the difference between a preschool and a terrorist training camp?

Don't ask me...I just fly the drones!

When asked, 'Are you Twittering?

If I'm looking at my phone I now reply, 'No. I am not Twittering,' in a sort of flat monotone. And tweet.

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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?

How many judges does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one he holds it still and the whole world revolves around him. Just one but two lawyers have to explain him how to do it.

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How do you pay for incense?

In cents

Which president was least guilty?

Lincoln, because he is in a cent.

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What did Abe Lincoln say when he was arrested?

I'm-in-a-cent!

What did Abe Lincoln say after a night of drinking?

I set WHO free?