Abe Lincoln Jokes

What did Abe Lincoln say after a night of drinking?

I set WHO free?

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What did Abe Lincoln say after a three day drinking binge?

Wait I freed?!?!?

What did Abe Lincoln say to the judge when he asked how he pleas?

I'm in a cent.

What did Abe Lincoln say when he was arrested?

I'm-in-a-cent!

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Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

What did Abe Lincoln say after a three day drinking binge?

Wait I freed?!?!?

How many mothers-in-law does it take to change a light bulb?

One. She just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around her.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What did one fish ask the other?

So how do you drive this thing

What hotel does Link always ask for?

HYATT

Arrest Jokes More Arrest Jokes

Why was the Muslim arrested for speeding during Ramadan?

Because he was going *to fast*!

Why did the French police arrested the Muslim teenager?

Because he was trying to detonate a Samsung Note 7.

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What's the best thing about Alzheimer's?

You meet new people every day.

Why did Sally the Sloth sleep in all day?

Because her crippling depression leaves her unable to function properly.

Judge Jokes More Judge Jokes

What's the difference between a bug and an insect?

Judging by Table 5's reactions, not a lot.

What do you call a judge that doesn't have any fingers?

Justice Thumbs

Set Jokes More Set Jokes

Why didn't Oscar Pistorius get a new bathroom door?

Because his wife was dead-set against it...

The punchline often arrives before the set-up.

Do you know the problem with UDP jokes?

Free Jokes More Free Jokes

Why did the EU start downloading random stuff to it's computer?

It had freed up one GB of space.

What's the difference between Santa Claus and Harry Potter?

Santa would never free an elf.

Cent Jokes More Cent Jokes

Why is a change machine easy to understand?

It makes cents.

Why didn't the cashier laugh at my joke?

It didn't make cents