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Abe Lincoln Jokes

What did Abe Lincoln say after a night of drinking?

I set WHO free?

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What did Abe Lincoln say after a three day drinking binge?

Wait I freed?!?!?

What did Abe Lincoln say to the judge when he asked how he pleas?

I'm in a cent.

What did Abe Lincoln say when he was arrested?

I'm-in-a-cent!

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Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

How do you catch a whale?

You wait until last call and use a good pick up line.

How can you tell if a 14 year old smokes weed?

Just wait. They'll tell you.

Set Jokes More Set Jokes

The punchline often arrives before the set-up.

Do you know the problem with UDP jokes?

What do people say when you win a game in Egypt?

Game, *Set,* and match.

Arrest Jokes More Arrest Jokes

Why was the pirate arrested for polygamy?

He kept on and on about his mateys.

What did Abe Lincoln say when he was arrested?

I'm-in-a-cent!

Free Jokes More Free Jokes

What did Abraham Lincoln say after a three-day drinking spree?

I freed the what?

What did Abe Lincoln say after a three day drinking binge?

Wait I freed?!?!?

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What has two thumbs and got laid last night?

My hands.

What do you get when you're agnostic, dyslexic, and an insomniac?

You stay up all night wondering if there's a dog.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What I reply with when someone asks, "What'd the comment say?

Removed

What did the proctologist ask the restaurant goer?

Can I push your stool in?

Cent Jokes More Cent Jokes

Why did the rich man go crazy?

He had one-million dollars, but no cents.

Why is the Canadian Mint so confusing?

Because they don't make any cents.

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What's the best thing about Alzheimer's?

You meet new people every day.

What happened to your three week diet?

Player: I finished it in three days!