What makes perfect sense?

The U.S. mint (cents)

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Why is a coin factory so logical?

Because it makes cents.

Which president was least guilty?

Lincoln, because he is in a cent.

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Why do mathematicians hate the U.S.?

Because it's indivisible.

How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him.