How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him.

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Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many theoretical physicists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to hold it in place, another to rotate the universe around it.

How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two, how did they get in there anyway?

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many LA cops does it take to change light bulb?

Six. One to do it and five to smash the old bulb to splinters.

How many nuts does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A Brazilian

50 Jokes More 50 Jokes

How awesome were the 50s?

None of the girls had tramp stamps & you could smoke in hospitals.

What's 50 Cent's new name?

50 Drachma.

Guard Jokes More Guard Jokes

What rhymes with 'boo' and really stinks?

You. Why I oughta...! Edit: Wow, thanks for all the love. My son is quite the character and he really caught me off guard with this!

How the hell did he escaped?

Guard: He went through the entrance.

U. S. Jokes More U. S. Jokes

Why is Jeopardy the #1 show in the U.S.?

Because Michael Douglas starred in "Double Jeopardy" in 1999.

How do people in other countries tell if kids are using drugs?

Here in the U.S. we just ask them how many grams are in an ounce.

Remain Jokes More Remain Jokes

What type of objects do not accelerate, regardless of the force applied?

Letterhead and envelopes. No matter how hard you try, they remain stationery!

What do you call a poo which still remains after flushing?

An - nflushable loating bject