Guard Jokes

What rhymes with 'boo' and really stinks?

You. Why I oughta...! Edit: Wow, thanks for all the love. My son is quite the character and he really caught me off guard with this!

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What do you call a guard with a hundred legs?

A sentrypede.

How many Frenchmen does it take to guard Paris?

No one knows, it's never been done before

How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him.

How the hell did he escaped?

Guard: He went through the entrance.

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Hire Jokes More Hire Jokes

Why won't Microsoft hire any maids?

Because they don't do Windows

Why will the artist formerly know as Prince only hire former FBI agents as his house maids?

Because they must be able to "dust for Prince"

Life Guard Jokes More Life Guard Jokes

Why didn't the life guard save the hippy?

Beacuse he was to "far out man".

Why couldn't the life guard save the hippy?

Because he was too far out

Station Jokes More Station Jokes

What do you call a security guard stationed outside of a Samsung?

A Guardian of the Galaxy

What does Usain Bolt do when he misses the bus?

He waits at the next station

Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many accident-prone people does it take to change a lightbulb?

We're on our sixth.

How many Librans does it take to change a lightbulb?

Er two. Or maybe one. No --- on second thoughts make that two. Is that okay with you

Security Guard Jokes More Security Guard Jokes

What do you call the security guards outside a Samsung factory?

Guardians of the Galaxy

What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung?

The guardians of the galaxy!

Manufacturer Jokes More Manufacturer Jokes

What don't BMWs have that all other manufacturers do?

Turn signals

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many IT support techs does it take to change a lightbulb?

Have you tried turning the light off and back on?

How many Amish people does it take to change a lightbulb?

A what?

Guardian Jokes More Guardian Jokes

What do you call the security at a Samsung store?

Guardians of the Galaxy, or firefighters.

What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops?

Guardians of the galaxy