How much did the critic tip the waiter?

Two cents

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Tip Jokes More Tip Jokes

When is it acceptable to not tip your server?

When your a system admin, and your server if tipped could destroy many websites.

What is the number 1 rule at a computer bar?

Always tip your server.

Cent Jokes More Cent Jokes

Why is Abraham Lincoln on the Penny?

Because it makes cents (sense).

How do you pay for incense?

In cents

Critic Jokes More Critic Jokes

What did Journey say to the critic as he stormed out of their concert?

Don't stop! Be leaving!" Just a joke I thought up the other day.

What did the critic think of German food?

Their sausages are the wurst.

Waiter Jokes More Waiter Jokes

What would you like to Instagram?

How waiters should greet people

How long will the pizza be?

The waiter replies "About 12 inches."