Why don't lawyers enjoy playing golf?

Because it's too much like work what with all of the lying involved.

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Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

How do you know a Muslim is lying?

Their lips are moving

What did you do at preschool?

3-year-old: We had to color inside the lines the WHOLE time. Me: 3-year-old: I need to lie down.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What's black and doesn't work in an office?

Decaf coffee!

What do you do when the dishwasher stops working?

You punch her

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

How to not get scolded by your parents if you want GTA V?

Mom! I want to play GTA V! Giant Turtles ATTACK V!

What do you call a chicken that can play tennis?

A Henman.

Enjoy Jokes More Enjoy Jokes

Why did the punster enjoy the Broadway show about etymology?

Because it was a play on words.

Why do they thank me in the cafeteria when I pay for my food like I had a choice?

Just tell me "enjoy the diarrhea" and I'll move along.

Involve Jokes More Involve Jokes

Why are all updates to Apple stuff piratical?

Because they all involve iPatches.

What was a doctors diagnosis of the victims involved in a pet van crash?

Coma, Coma, Coma, Coma, Coma, Chameleon

Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.

What did the Lawyer say to the lesbian?

One slip of the tongue and you will be in s**t!

Golf Jokes More Golf Jokes

Why did the golfer wear 2 shirts when he went golfing?

In case he got a hole-in-one!

What do you call an aardvark that's good at golf?

A paredvark!