What happened to Jesus when he tried to play defense on a professional Basketball player?

He got crossed.

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What happened to the performer who read poetry to terminally ill patients?

He suffered an elegiac reaction.

What happens when you go to the bathroom scared?

A spooky dookie.

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Why did the cannibal get banned from the hospital?

He kept trying the doctors patients(patience)

Why do bagpipers walk when they play?

They're trying to get away from the noise.

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Why can't Jesus play hockey?

He keeps getting NAILED TO THE BOARDS!...

What game do you play with a wombat?

Wom.

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What does the son of God do when he is the victim of medical malpractice?

Jesus

Whenever I'm in trouble, I think: what would Jesus do?

Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for three days.

Defense Jokes More Defense Jokes

What happened to Jesus when he tried to play defense on a professional Basketball player?

He got crossed.

What does Al-Libi use for his defense during his trial?

His alibi.