Why did Jesus stop playing hockey?

Because he kept getting nailed to the boards.

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Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

What two things should people stop shaking because shaking hurts these things development?

Polaroid Integral Film and Babies

What did the bartender day to the man who was drinking his vodka to fast?

Stop "Russian"

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

What did one bird say to the other bird?

Toucan play at this game.

How many quarters does it take to play the Lord of the Rings pinball game?

None, it only takes Tolkiens

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What did Jesus want when he appeared on a piece of toast?

Miracle whip.

What strengths do you bring to the job?

Long pause while Jesus glares at interviewer* Are you being serious right now

Nail Jokes More Nail Jokes

What do you call a baby deer's droppings?

FawnDoo! Nailed it.

Why did the elephant paint its nails red?

So it could hide in the strawberry patch.... Have you ever seen an elephant in a strawberry patch? No? See, it worked!

Hockey Jokes More Hockey Jokes

How did the blonde break her leg playing hockey with the Toronto Maple Leafs?

She fell out of the tree.

Why didn't Jesus like to play hockey?

He didn't like getting nailed to the boards.

Board Jokes More Board Jokes

What is a carpenters dream girl?

Flat as a board, skinny as a nail and easy to screw.

Why did Jesus quit playing hockey?

He kept getting nailed to the boards.