What do Jesus and your mom have in common?

They both got nailed all night.

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Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

What did Sigmund Freud do for Mother's Day?

His mom.

What did the mom say when she found out her son was going to be a evil spy?

Abort mission!

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

Why did Mary and Joseph's WIFI get hacked?

Because Jesus WEPt.

Why did Jesus take 3 days to resurrect?

He got hammered with his buddies.

Nail Jokes More Nail Jokes

Why did Jesus take three days to resurrect after dying on the cross?

Because the date wasn't nailed down.

What's the hardest part about making a manicure joke?

You really have to nail it

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What do you get when you cross a philosopher, an insomniac and a dyslexic?

A guy who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog. Infinite Jest, by DFW

Why doesn't Kirk like to have one-night stands?

Because the girls always cling on him afterwards.