Why did Jesus take three days to resurrect after dying on the cross?

Because the date wasn't nailed down.

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Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What's Jared Fogle's favorite time of day?

When the big hand touches the little one

What do you call a group of millionaires sitting around watching the NBA finals?

The Lakers. (Laker fan here. Sorry prob would have been more appropriate last week during the finals.) Edit: I heard this some where the other day. I can't take credit for the joke.

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What do you get when you cross a cartoon character and a Communist?

Mickey Mao.

How did the astrologer cross the road?

In his Taurus!

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Why do they have fences around a cemetery?

Because people are dying to get in.

Why did the programmer die in the shower?

He followed the shampoo instructions.

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What was the best thing about Jesus' crucifixion?

Well, the cross was a big plus

What's it called when you look in the mirror and say "Jesus Christ I look good"?

Using the lords name in vanity

Nail Jokes More Nail Jokes

What do Jesus and girls have in common?

The expression on their faces when they got nailed.

Where do noodles get their nails done?

At the spa-getti.

Date Jokes More Date Jokes

How did the raisin have fun at the movies?

It took a date....

How's your love life?

Well, I went on a date. 45 minutes in I realized it was a turtle in a wig. "I'm sorry man" it's ok. still got laid.

Resurrect Jokes More Resurrect Jokes

What did Jesus say after he was resurrected?

Nailed it

What did Asian Jesus say before he was crucified?

OC) YORO (You only resurrect once)