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Why did Jesus stop playing hockey?

Because he kept getting nailed to the boards.

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Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

How do you stop the protests in Charlotte?

Sing the nation anthem they will sit down

How do you stop an angry elephant from charging?

Take away it's credit cards!

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

Why is Riot Fest going to be in Toronto?

They play music, not hockey.

Which playing card can turn its hand to everything?

Jack of all Spades

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What do you think Jesus's stance would be on guns?

I think he would be most strict on nail gun control. (Credit to Taylor on PKA)

Why wasn't the son of God worried when Microsoft Word crashed while he was writing his term paper?

Because Jesus saves.

Nail Jokes More Nail Jokes

Why did the blonde put her finger over the nail when she was hammering?

The noise gave her a headache.

How do you keep a baby from crawling in circles?

Nail the other hand to the floor.

Hockey Jokes More Hockey Jokes

Why can't Jesus play hockey?

He keeps getting NAILED TO THE BOARDS!...

Why is Jesus terrible at hockey?

He keeps getting pinned to the boards.

Board Jokes More Board Jokes

Why did Jesus quit playing hockey?

He kept getting nailed to the boards.

What do you call a woman on a cruise ship in Mexico using the diving board at the pool?

A broad abroad on a board aboard.