Why do they call boats "she"?

Because the wives had to get on board somehow.

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What did the pirate say when his wife kept asking him about the steering wheel in his pants?

Yargg! Woman! Stop asking me! You're driving me nuts!

What does the husband say to his wife whose nose is bleeding?

Nothing, he already said it twice.

Boat Jokes More Boat Jokes

Why did the boat know it had a leak?

That sinking feeling...

Why do scuba divers always jump backwards off the boat?

If they jumped forwards, they would still be on the boat! Sorry.

Board Jokes More Board Jokes

Why is Peter Pan on the No-Fly list?

Whenever he boards a plane it neverlands

Why didn't Jesus ever play in the NHL?

Because every time he tried he got nailed to the boards!