Boat Jokes

What do you call a boat made out of corn?

A tortilla ship!

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Why do scuba divers fall backwards off the boat?

Because if they fell forward, they would land in the boat!

How do they launch a champagne factory?

They throw a boat at it.

Why did the boat dock with the all of the other boats?

Pier Pressure

What do you call a mollusk on a boat?

A snailor

Why do scuba divers always jump backwards off the boat?

If they jumped forwards, they would still be on the boat! Sorry.

What did the upset horse use to row his boat?

A saddle.

Why couldn't the pirate have gravy with his Thanksgiving dinner?

Because someone stole his boat.

Why are yachts and ships so scary?

Because they're for boating.

How do you build a boat?

Well Im not sure, but I do Noah guy.

What do the Greeks sing while at sea?

Your boat, gently down the stream...

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What do you call it when three French cats get into a boat only meant for two?

Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq!

What do you call a boat that gives you nothing but trouble?

A woe boat.

What do you call a boat with a hole?

A sink.

Why couldn't the physicist understand how boats work?

He thought nothing could possibly travel faster than sea.

What do you call a boat whose captain has no idea what he's doing and works for free?

The Internship

Why did the boat know it had a leak?

That sinking feeling...

Where does a psychologist keep his boat?

On a Freudian Slip

What's the Cuban national anthem?

Row, Row, Row Your Boat...

Why shouldn't you take the Fourier transform of a square pulse while on a boat?

Because you don't wanna sinc!

What did the water say to the boat?

Nothing. It just waved.

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Why are a lot of Italians named Tony?

Because as they got on the boat to leave Italy, they were stamped on the head, "TO NY".

Why do scuba-divers go in backwards?

Because if they went forward they'd fall in the boat.

Why don't you transport onions by boat?

You don' want your boat to be full of leeks.

What did the captain say to the men before they got on the boat?

Men, get on the boat.

Why do scuba divers roll backwards out of the boat?

Cause if they rolled forwards, they would still be in the boat.

What fish is best to have in a boat?

A Sailfish.

What do boats and fourier transforms have in common?

Both sinc when rect.

How many South Dakotans does it take to go ice fishing?

Four. One to cut the hole in the ice and three to push the boat through.

What kind of boats do smart people ride on?

Scholar ships!

What does a pirate do for entertainment?

Whatever floats his boat.

What's the worst vegetable to have on a boat?

A leek.

When crossing the Delaware River why did George Washington stand up in the boat?

He was afraid that if he sat down that someone would give him an oar to row!

What do you call someone with no arms and no legs being towed behind your boat?

Skip.

When do you know you are getting a good deal on a boat?

When there's a sail on it.

Why did the GameCube controller get off the boat?

Because he got a little c-stick.

What is the Cuban national anthem?

Row Your Boat!

Knock knock. Who's there? Cicero. Cicero who?

Cicero the boat ashore!

What's the difference between American and Canadian?

A boat.

What is the cheapest part of a boat?

The part with the sail in it.

Why was the boat disobedient?

Nobody gave it a stern talking to.

How do sailors finish a corny joke on a boat?

Ba dum ship.

What did George Washington say to his men just before they got in the boat?

Men, get in the boat!

What do you call a machine that automatically paddles your boat?

A row bot.

Why is the rear end of a boat so tough?

It's made of stern stuff.

Who drowns?

The boat.

What do you yell when a woman falls of a boat?

Full speed ahead

What kind of oranges do you take on a boat?

Naval oranges. I'msosorry.

What do you call a boat that won't float?

Bloated.

How do you get Pikachu on to a boat?

You Pokémon

Why do they call boats "she"?

Because the wives had to get on board somehow.

What did one boat say to the other?

Are you up for a little row-mance

Where do boats go when they're sick?

The Doc

Why couldn't the Egyptian fisherman get over the fact that his boat had sunk?

Because he was stuck in denial.

Why do scuba divers fall backwards into the water?

Because if they fell forwards they’d still be in the boat.

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U. Jokes More U. Jokes

How do u get a pool table to laugh?

Tickle its balls.

Why are u home so early?

Hubby: "My boss said go to hell!"

Answer Jokes More Answer Jokes

How long does it take for George R.R. Martin to finish a Reddit post?

Answer coming Fall 2017.

Why do you think I spend too much time at my computer?

Well dear... Every time I ask you to close the windows you answer with "Please wait while your computer shuts down"...

Diver Jokes More Diver Jokes

Why do divers fall backwards from boats?

Because if they fell forward they'd still be in it!

Why do divers fall backwards into the water?

If they fell forwards they'd still be in the boat.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

When people go to ask me "hey man, are you from Los Angeles?

I'll be like "nah dude,I just really like the French feminine definite article"

Why is PBS asking me for money?

If I had money I wouldn't need to pretend crow migration habits are good entertainment.

Jump Jokes More Jump Jokes

Why doesn't Mexico ever win any medals in the Olympics?

Because everyone who can run, jump, or swim has already crossed the border.

Why were the children jumping for Joy?

Because Joy was stuck on the roof.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a fence and a wall?

I give them a wall, and they take offense.

What's the difference between a bull and a Samsung Note 7?

I'm not scared when the bull charges

Captain Jokes More Captain Jokes

How does the captain know the aircraft is safely at the ramp?

Both the engines and the co-pilot stop whining.

What do you call a boat whose captain has no idea what he's doing and works for free?

The Internship

Snail Boat Jokes More Snail Boat Jokes

What's the slowest boat?

A snail boat

What kind of ships can't go in salt water?

Snail-boats