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Roll Jokes

Which Way Do Transformers Put The Toilet Paper?

Autobots Roll Out!

Love Card

Love Card

Why did ISIS leader bring a car-door to the desert?

So he could roll down the window when it gets too hot. How we joke in Kurdistan

What is Harry Potters favourite way to get down a hill?

Walking. Jk. Rolling

Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?

To get to the bottom

What do you call a basketball that rolls off court and deflates?

Out of bounce.

Why can't Elvis Presley roll backwards with his car?

Because he is dead

What did Sushie A say to Sushi B?

Wasa-B! Let's roll.

Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill?

It ran out of juice. I shall take my leave now.

What do you do with 365 used condoms?

Roll them into a tire and call it a Goodyear.

What happened when Rick fell down a hill?

Rick rolled.

Why is it called Justice League of America?

Do they follow territorial boundaries? If the Kaos Kommandos start a brawl in El Paso and it rolls over into Juarez, do they say "screw it, let Justice League of Mexico handle it"? (Sorry if this isn't technically a joke; it was my shower thought this morning and I thought it was funny.)

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

What's grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow?

An elephant rolling down a hill with a daisy in its mouth!

How does Harry Potter travel about?

Walking -Jk Rolling

What do potheads do when they see a fire?

Stop, drop, and roll

How do you find the fastest man in Africa?

Roll a penny down a hill.

What did the stone say to the hill?

Let's Rock and Roll.

Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in dirt and then cross the road again?

Because he was a dirty double crosser!

What is red and white and red and white and red and....?

Santa Clause rolling down a hill

What kind of car does a Japanese chef drive?

Rolls Rice

What's the best way to save on toilet paper?

Slow your roll.

What does Optimus Prime say on 4-20?

Autobots, roll up!

We've Got This Love Thing Down

We've Got This Love Thing Down

What's black and white and black and white and black and white and green?

A skunk rolling down a hill with a pickle in its mouth.

What do you get when you roll weed on a dictionary?

High Definition

What did Johann Sebastian Bach do when someone steam-rolled his organ?

He played a flat baroque piece!

What did the pastry chef say to his apprentice?

Know your roll!

What happens when you throw a laptop into the ocean?

You have a Dell, rolling in the deep.

What came first?

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face. The egg, looking a bit ticked off, grabs the sheet, rolls over and says... "Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question!"

What did the Mexican say with one sleeve rolled up and one sleeve not?

Not even, homes

What do you call a laptop in the ocean?

A Dell, rolling in the deep.

What's red and white and red, red and white and red and white?

Santa Claus rolling down a roof!

Why do scuba divers roll backwards out of the boat?

Cause if they rolled forwards, they would still be in the boat.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

How can you tell if someone has a Jamaican accent?

They roll their J's.

Why did the Orange stop rolling?

It ran out of juice!!!

What are these?

Me: The synonym rolls you asked for. Wife: CINNAMON.

Why were the locals dissapointed when an old, decrepit, broken down bus rolled into an Egyptian town?

They wished it was Anubis.

Why did the paper follow the pencil?

Because it LED THE WAY! I'm on a roll here! this is fun! Skip

Why did the dung beetle go to rehab?

He was rolling balls.

What did the mother turkey say to her naughty son Tom?

If your dad knew how you were acting he'd roll over in his gravy

How do you play a big game of Hungry Hippos?

Go to a weight watchers meeting and roll Maltesers down the middle of their meeting circle.

What's a feminist's least favourite bread?

Gender rolls

Why did the chicken cross the road, roll around in mud, and cross again after being caught by the mafia?

Because he was a dirty double crosser.

Why is the orange Rolling down the road?

Because it's run out of juice!!!!!! (:

Why do men get erections while they sleep?

So they don't accidentally roll out of bed.

What's black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white?

A Penguin rolling down a hill What's black and white and laughing The penguin who pushed him

How the hell did you do that"?

The car rolled on it".

What do pothead barbarians say when 420 rolls around?

420 raze it!

What is both a short shopping list, and a potential Chinese luxury automobile?

Rolls * Rice

What do you call a pc that fell in the ocean?

A Dell rolling in the deep.

What do you call Stephen Hawking rolling away from an explosion?

Hot wheels (First joke, hope you like it.)

What's red and white, red and white, red and white?

Sant rolling off your roof.

What do you call a woman rolling around on a beach?

Sandy

What did the pig say when his brother rolled on him?

Heavy!

What is it with people who text and drive?

I swear to god the next time I see this happen, I'll roll down my window and throw my beer at them.

What do you call a tank rolling through the streets of Poland?

Ghetto Blaster

What's Mr. Skeltal's favorite candy?

Dootsie rolls.

What goes Black-White, Black-White, Black-White?

A panda bear rolling down a hill.

How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?

No one knows it's never happened.

What's black and white black and white black and white?

A nun rolling down a hill.

What goes red and white, red and white, red and white?

Santa Claus rolling down a hill.

Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud, and crossed the road again?

Because he was a dirty double-crosser!

How do you start a black parade?

Roll a 40 down the street.

What type of music do lightning bolts listen to?

Rock and Roll

What's Sisyphus' least favourite type of music?

Rock and Roll.

Why did the dog roll down the hill?

It didn t have any legs.

Why didn't the quarter roll down the hill with the nickle?

Because it had more cents

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Watch Jokes More Watch Jokes

What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time...

Why's the couch smell like pee?

Flashback to me watching The Ring alone Me: *points at son* I think someone had another "accident."

Hey Jokes More Hey Jokes

How do you sell a chicken to someone who is hard-of-hearing?

HEY!!! DO YOU WANT TO BUY A CHICKEN!?!?!?!

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottsman?

Mick Jagger says "Hey, you, get off of my cloud!" A Scottsman says "Hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe!"

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive a car?

Because she was a woman!

Why is the LSU football team like my car?

They both used to have Les (less) Miles!

Scottsman Jokes More Scottsman Jokes

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottsman?

Mick Jagger says "Hey, you, get off of my cloud!" A Scottsman says "Hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe!"

What do you call a Scottsman with a sniper rifle?

Fiction.

Way Jokes More Way Jokes

Why did Muhammad cross the road?

Because he had the right of way.

When the hell did you grow a beard?

Me: This morning. On the way here. Just felt like it was time.

Hey Ma Cleod Jokes More Hey Ma Cleod Jokes

What's the difference between Mick Jagger, and a Scottish farmer?

Mick Jagger says 'Hey, you, get off of my cloud' The Scottish farmer says 'Hey, MacLeod, get off of my ewe'

What's the difference between a Scotsman and The Rolling Stones?

The Rolling Stones say 'hey you, get off my cloud.' the Scotsman says 'hey MaCleod, get off my ewe.'

Toilet Paper Jokes More Toilet Paper Jokes

Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road?

It didn't want to get stuck in any cracks.

What does an Australian use instaed of toilet paper?

Bidet, mate.

8 Jokes More 8 Jokes

What 8 letter phrase means a healthy scratch?

Tim Tebow

Why did Microsoft skip straight to 10?

Because Windows 7, 8, 9.