Cloud Jokes

What do you call people that you hate?

Clouds, because once they are gone it's a beautiful day.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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Why was Cloud trying to cheer up Sky?

He looked a little blue

Why did the drunk guy call the sheep Legolas?

Because it was a cloud

What did the CN tower say to the clouds???

Only the tip baby, I promise!

Why do clouds make good Kings?

Because they have rain over every country in the world.

What do you call a sheep with no legs?

A cloud.

What's the difference between The Rolling Stones and Scotsman?

The Rolling Stones say "Hey, you, get off of my cloud." A Scotsman says "Hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe."

What's the difference between The Rolling Stones and a Scottish shepard?

The Stones say "hey you get off of my cloud!" The Shepard says "hey Mc Cloud get of of my ewe!"

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish shepherd?

One says, "Hey, you, get off of my cloud!" The other says, "Hey, MacLeod, get off of my ewe!

What do clouds wear under their pants?

Thunderwear!

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish Highlander?

Mick Jagger sings, "Hey you, get off of my cloud.. ", while the Scottish Highlander yells, "Hey McCloud, get off of my ewe!"

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What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish farmer?

Mick Jagger says "Hey (hey) you (you) get off of my cloud..." the Scottish farmer says "Hey McCloud get off of my ewe"

What do Bill Gates and the Pope have in common?

They've both put their faith in the cloud.

What's the difference between The Rolling Stones and a Scottsman?

The Rolling Stones say "Hey! You! Get off of my cloud!" And a Scottsman says "Hey McLeod, get of me ewe!"

Why do Transformers always have their heads in the clouds?

They're robots in da skies.

What's white and drips from the cloud?

The coming of the Lord.

What do clouds wear under their clothes?

Thunderware.

What's the difference between The Rolling Stones and a Scottish sheep farmer?

One says, 'Hey! You! Get off of my cloud!' The other says 'Hey! MacLeod! Get off of my ewe.'

What did one cloud of fog say to the other?

I don't know. It's a Mistery.

What do you call a grandpa who couldn't understand why his email wanted to upload his attachment to share it?

An old man yelling at the cloud

Why did the cloud get $10M for having a fight?

He was the raining champion.

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Where do lightning bolts go on dates?

To cloud 9

Why aren't Japanese optimistic?

Because not every cloud has a silver lining

What's the difference between The Rolling Stones and a Scot?

One says "hey, you, get off of my cloud", and the other says "hey, McLeod, get off of my ewe".

What cloud is so lazy because it will not get up?

Fog

What kind of shorts do clouds wear?

Thunderwear.

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottsman?

Mick Jagger says "Hey, you, get off of my cloud!" A Scottsman says "Hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe!"

Why are clouds like jockeys?

Because they hold the reins!

What does that cloud look like to you?

3-year-old: A cloud. Me: No, what do you imagine it could be 3-year-old: Rain.

What do clouds wear during a storm?

Thunderwear

What's the difference between a Scotsman and The Rolling Stones?

The Rolling Stones say 'hey you, get off my cloud.' the Scotsman says 'hey MaCleod, get off my ewe.'

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish sheep herder?

One says, "hey, you! Get off my cloud!", and the other one says, "hey, McCloud! Get off of my ewe!"

What is the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish farmer?

One says, "Hey, you, get off of my cloud!". The other says "Hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe!".

What's the difference between Mick Jagger, and a Scottish farmer?

Mick Jagger says 'Hey, you, get off of my cloud' The Scottish farmer says 'Hey, MacLeod, get off of my ewe'

Why was the Sun mad at all the clouds?

Because they kept throwin shade

What do clouds want to be when they grow up?

Thunderstorms

What do you call a sheep with no legs?

A cloud.

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What's the worst thing about Fridays?

Realizing it's only Tuesday.

How's your love life?

Well, I went on a date. 45 minutes in I realized it was a turtle in a wig. "I'm sorry man" it's ok. still got laid.

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Why did they bury the Scottish man on the West side of the hill?

Because he was dead

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish farmer?

Mick Jagger says "Hey (hey) you (you) get off of my cloud..." the Scottish farmer says "Hey McCloud get off of my ewe"

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Whats the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish farmer?

Mick Jagger sings eh you, get offa mai cloud, but the Scottish farmer says eh McLeod, get offa mai ewe!

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Why did nVidia build the first self-driving car?

Because their drivers keep crashing.

How Am I Driving' sign* *Panics* Hello?

There's a problem. Your driver doesn't understand how he's driving

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What do you call an Oyster who is stuck in traffic?

A PearlJam

Why is there only a stairway to heaven but a highway to hell?

Easy. More traffic is going to hell.

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What does robbing a Scotsman get you?

Kilt

What would a Scotsman call a mountain which is on the moon?

A moon-tain.

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How do you get over trophobia?

Look at the hole photo for 30 seconds straight

What does a baby mouse say to its mother after seeing a bat?

Look mom, an angel!

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Why was Edward stuck at the Russian airport?

Because he was Snowden.

What's the difference between a rabbit on a treadmill and a rabbit with a carrot stuck up its nose?

One is a fit bunny and the other is a bit funny