Scotsman Jokes

What would a Scotsman call a mountain which is on the moon?

A moon-tain.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

What does robbing a Scotsman get you?

Kilt

What did the Scotsman say when he ripped his trousers?

Och noo, me troosers!

What's the difference between The Rolling Stones and Scotsman?

The Rolling Stones say "Hey, you, get off of my cloud." A Scotsman says "Hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe."

Which language does a drunk Scotsman speak?

X-post /r/puns Scotch.

Why was the Scotsman buried on the hill?

He died.

What's the difference between a Scotsman and The Rolling Stones?

The Rolling Stones say 'hey you, get off my cloud.' the Scotsman says 'hey MaCleod, get off my ewe.'

What did the Scotsman say when he went for another drink?

Hey, where'd my Glascow

You might also enjoy:

Mac Leod Jokes More Mac Leod Jokes

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish shepherd?

One says, "Hey, you, get off of my cloud!" The other says, "Hey, MacLeod, get off of my ewe!

What's the difference between a Scotsman and The Rolling Stones?

The Rolling Stones say 'hey you, get off my cloud.' the Scotsman says 'hey MaCleod, get off my ewe.'

Mountain Jokes More Mountain Jokes

What did one mountain say to the other mountain after an earthquake?

It's not my fault.

What did the mole hill say to the mountain?

I see my ex came by.

Language Jokes More Language Jokes

What language do they speak in Cuba?

Cubic!

What language do teapots speak?

Teabrew.

Moon Jokes More Moon Jokes

Whats the odd one out?

The man on the moon? Santa Claus? Or an honest Lawyer? Yes you got it Santa. The other two are figments of the imagination.

What happens when the Sun and the Moon get together?

They turn out the lights.

Rob Jokes More Rob Jokes

Why did the man who robbed the liquor store with a boomerang get caught?

Because he couldn't throw away the evidence

What did the body-builder say after his house got robbed?

No whey...

Post Jokes More Post Jokes

Why do the ghosts never win races?

Because they're always dead tired. I stole this from plain and simple. Just straight up stole it. Why? Because it made me laugh and I didn't see it posted here before.

Why is a racehorse like a letter?

They both begin a trip at the post!

Rip Jokes More Rip Jokes

Why were all the girls looking at the piece of paper?

Because it was ripped.

What did the neckbeard say while giving the eulogy for his extremely flatulent friend?

Rip in peace

Hey Ma Cleod Jokes More Hey Ma Cleod Jokes

What's the difference between a Scotsman and The Rolling Stones?

The Rolling Stones say 'hey you, get off my cloud.' the Scotsman says 'hey MaCleod, get off my ewe.'

What's the difference between Mick Jagger, and a Scottish farmer?

Mick Jagger says 'Hey, you, get off of my cloud' The Scottish farmer says 'Hey, MacLeod, get off of my ewe'