Rip Jokes

How did Jesus get so ripped?

He does crossfit.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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Why do Redditors get excited when a tornado rips down miles of fences?

Because there is a lot of reposting to do.

Whole Foods?

Ripped off.

What did the Scotsman say when he ripped his trousers?

Och noo, me troosers!

Why did little Jimmy cross the road?

Because he wanted a good view of the front of a moving Porsche. RIP lil' Jimmy

What did one toilet roll say to another toilet roll?

People keep ripping me off.

What do you call a bad hairdresser who is also very expensive?

A rip-off.

Why did Steve Irwin's sunscreen get recalled?

It didn't protect him from harmful rays Edit: Steve Irwin was the man. RIP

Why didn't the man buy Velcro shoes?

Because they were a rip off

How did the farmer feel after he ripped his clothing?

Let's just say he felt overall sadness.

What did the neckbeard say while giving the eulogy for his extremely flatulent friend?

Rip in peace

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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How did Humpty Dumpty get ripped?

Wall-sits.

Who would win in a fight?

A bicycle wheel or an old book Well, it's hard to say. One's pumped and the other's ripped.

What did the vegetarian do to get ripped?

He juiced...

What's the fastest way to get a ripped body?

Take highwhey.

Why did the zombie start ripping up sheet music?

Because he was de-composing.

What do you call it when a king rips a fart?

Air to the throne.

When faced with a challenging situation I calmly ask myself "what would The Hulk do?"

Then I rip my clothes and smash stuff up!

Why were all the girls looking at the piece of paper?

Because it was ripped.

Why did Jesus look so ripped during Crucifixion?

CrossFit

What do you call it when you get ripped from steroid use?

Ill-gotten gains

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Where did Christ get his ripped abs?

Cross fit

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Somebody Jokes More Somebody Jokes

Why was the lightbulb invented?

Somebody had an idea.

What do you say when somebody else has ruined your joke?

RIP post

Harmful Ray Jokes More Harmful Ray Jokes

Why don't you buy sunscreen from Steve Irwin?

Because it doesn't protect you from harmful rays

Why did Steve Irwin's sunscreen get recalled?

It didn't protect him from harmful rays Edit: Steve Irwin was the man. RIP

Porsche Jokes More Porsche Jokes

Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?

She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.

What's the difference between an flautist and a Porsche?

Most members of the band haven't been in a Porsche.

People Jokes More People Jokes

Why were some people not allowed in to the Poet College?

Because they were bard.

What can a yakuza do for living when he doesn't want to hurt people?

Tattoo master

Velcro Jokes More Velcro Jokes

Why do people keep buying velcro?

It's such a ripoff.

How did LaKeisha's Mom finally stop her from bouncing on the trampoline in the rec room?

She put a piece of velcro on the ceiling.

Deaf Guy Jokes More Deaf Guy Jokes

What did the blind guy say to the deaf guy?

I hear what your saying, but I don't see your point

What did the deaf guy get for Christmas?

A Headphone

Fence Jokes More Fence Jokes

Why is there a fence around the graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!

What time is it when the elephant sits on the fence?

Time to get a new fence...

Tornado Jokes More Tornado Jokes

What do you call a trailer park in a tornado?

Wind chimes.

What does a tornado and a red-neck divorce have in common?

Either way someone's going to lose a trailer.