Rip Jokes

How did Jesus get so ripped?

He does crossfit.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

Why do Redditors get excited when a tornado rips down miles of fences?

Because there is a lot of reposting to do.

Whole Foods?

Ripped off.

What did the Scotsman say when he ripped his trousers?

Och noo, me troosers!

Why did little Jimmy cross the road?

Because he wanted a good view of the front of a moving Porsche. RIP lil' Jimmy

What did one toilet roll say to another toilet roll?

People keep ripping me off.

What do you call a bad hairdresser who is also very expensive?

A rip-off.

Why did Steve Irwin's sunscreen get recalled?

It didn't protect him from harmful rays Edit: Steve Irwin was the man. RIP

Why didn't the man buy Velcro shoes?

Because they were a rip off

How did the farmer feel after he ripped his clothing?

Let's just say he felt overall sadness.

What did the neckbeard say while giving the eulogy for his extremely flatulent friend?

Rip in peace

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

How did Humpty Dumpty get ripped?

Wall-sits.

Who would win in a fight?

A bicycle wheel or an old book Well, it's hard to say. One's pumped and the other's ripped.

What did the vegetarian do to get ripped?

He juiced...

What's the fastest way to get a ripped body?

Take highwhey.

Why did the zombie start ripping up sheet music?

Because he was de-composing.

What do you call it when a king rips a fart?

Air to the throne.

When faced with a challenging situation I calmly ask myself "what would The Hulk do?"

Then I rip my clothes and smash stuff up!

Why were all the girls looking at the piece of paper?

Because it was ripped.

Why did Jesus look so ripped during Crucifixion?

CrossFit

What do you call it when you get ripped from steroid use?

Ill-gotten gains

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Where did Christ get his ripped abs?

Cross fit

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Jimmy Jokes More Jimmy Jokes

Why did Sally fall off the swing?

Because she didn't have any arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Definitely not Sally. Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck Why didn't the truck turn out of the way? Sally Was driving

Why did Jimmy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept for.

Excite Jokes More Excite Jokes

What makes a salami excited?

When the ham is cured!

What discovery was the garden's mathematician excited about?

AVOCADO'S NUMBER!

Porsche Jokes More Porsche Jokes

What do Porsche and Apple have in common?

New product, same design.

Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?

She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.

Rip Body Jokes More Rip Body Jokes

What's the fastest way to get a ripped body?

Take highwhey.

Sweep Jokes More Sweep Jokes

Why is the air so clean and healthy on Halloween?

Because so many witches are sweeping the sky.

Why would Rip Van Winkle make a good janitor?

Because he swept for 20 years.

Good View Jokes More Good View Jokes

Why did little Jimmy cross the road?

Because he wanted a good view of the front of a moving Porsche. RIP lil' Jimmy

Where's the best view of falling stars in Los Angeles?

The Betty Ford Clinic

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

Why did the Jedi cross the road?

To get to the dark side.

Why did the salad cross the road?

To get away from the PETA convention.

Food Jokes More Food Jokes

What do you call food between two slices of bread?

A sandwich

What do you call a rotten lamb chop?

Food gone ba-a-a-a-a-ad.