Rip Jokes

How did Jesus get so ripped?

He does crossfit.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

Why do Redditors get excited when a tornado rips down miles of fences?

Because there is a lot of reposting to do.

Whole Foods?

Ripped off.

What did one toilet roll say to another toilet roll?

People keep ripping me off.

What do you call a bad hairdresser who is also very expensive?

A rip-off.

Why didn't the man buy Velcro shoes?

Because they were a rip off

How did the farmer feel after he ripped his clothing?

Let's just say he felt overall sadness.

How did Humpty Dumpty get ripped?

Wall-sits.

Who would win in a fight?

A bicycle wheel or an old book Well, it's hard to say. One's pumped and the other's ripped.

What's the fastest way to get a ripped body?

Take highwhey.

Why did the zombie start ripping up sheet music?

Because he was de-composing.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

What do you call it when a king rips a fart?

Air to the throne.

When faced with a challenging situation I calmly ask myself "what would The Hulk do?"

Then I rip my clothes and smash stuff up!

Why were all the girls looking at the piece of paper?

Because it was ripped.

Why did Jesus look so ripped during Crucifixion?

CrossFit

Where did Christ get his ripped abs?

Cross fit

You might also enjoy:

Fence Jokes More Fence Jokes

Why are Redditors so good at fencing?

Because they always riposte.

Why do they put fences around graveyards?

Because people are dying to get in.

Mile Jokes More Mile Jokes

What's the longest word in the dictionary?

Smiles" because there is a mile between each S!

What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?

A blonde parade!

Tornado Jokes More Tornado Jokes

Why don't tornadoes watch Bill O'Reilly on FOXNEWS?

It is a no spin zone

How can you tell if a tornado is stupid?

If it spins anti-cyclonically

Road Jokes More Road Jokes

Why didn't the Siamese chicken cross the road?

He was two chickens

What's the difference between Jesus and the chicken that crossed the road?

Jesus died on the cross

Lot Jokes More Lot Jokes

What happens if you cross an Ape with an octopus?

You get a fur coat with lots of sleeves!

How do you know Bono is selfish?

He does a lot of Pro-Bono work.

Crossfit Jokes More Crossfit Jokes

What workout routine did Jesus stick to best?

Crossfit

How can you tell if someone does crossfit?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

Frog Jokes More Frog Jokes

What did the bus conductor say to the frog?

Hop on.

How does a frog greet a rabbit during the holiday season?

Hoppy holidays, and have a hoppin New Hare! Happy holidays everyone.

Somebody Jokes More Somebody Jokes

How can you tell if somebody's run a marathon?

Wait 15 seconds, they'll tell you.

What do you call a clock tower somebody lives in?

A timely manor.