How did Humpty Dumpty get ripped?

Wall-sits.

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What kind of monster can sit on the end of your finger?

The bogeyman.

How do you stop all the protests and riots?

Play the national anthem. They'll all sit down

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Why did little Jimmy cross the road?

Because he wanted a good view of the front of a moving Porsche. RIP lil' Jimmy

When faced with a challenging situation I calmly ask myself "what would The Hulk do?"

Then I rip my clothes and smash stuff up!