How did Humpty Dumpty get ripped?

Wall-sits.

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Whats it called when you 69 with someone who is sitting in a wheelchair?

Meals on wheels

What do you call a bunch of white dudes sitting on a bench?

The NBA

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Why were all the girls looking at the piece of paper?

Because it was ripped.

Why did Steve Irwin's sunscreen get recalled?

It didn't protect him from harmful rays Edit: Steve Irwin was the man. RIP