What did the Scotsman say when he ripped his trousers?

Och noo, me troosers!

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Scotsman Jokes More Scotsman Jokes

What's the difference between The Rolling Stones and Scotsman?

The Rolling Stones say "Hey, you, get off of my cloud." A Scotsman says "Hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe."

Which language does a drunk Scotsman speak?

X-post /r/puns Scotch.

Rip Jokes More Rip Jokes

Why did Jesus look so ripped during Crucifixion?

CrossFit

When faced with a challenging situation I calmly ask myself "what would The Hulk do?"

Then I rip my clothes and smash stuff up!

Trouser Jokes More Trouser Jokes

Why did the golfer take a spare pair of trousers with him?

Incase he got a hole in one!

Why should you always take two pairs of trousers when you play golf?

In case you get a hole in one!