Porsche Jokes

What do you get when you make a condiment out of an expensive car?

Porsche-tchesire sauce

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Why did little Jimmy cross the road?

Because he wanted a good view of the front of a moving Porsche. RIP lil' Jimmy

What do Porsche and Apple have in common?

New product, same design.

What's the difference between an flautist and a Porsche?

Most members of the band haven't been in a Porsche.

Whats the difference between a Porsche and an erection?

I dont have a Porsche. (Best told by whispering in someones ear.)

Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?

She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.

Why did the terrorist buy himself a Porsche?

He was going through a midlife ISIS

Where does a ghost refuel his Porsche?

At a ghastly station.

What's the difference between a Porsche and a Skoda?

Paul Walker wouldn't be seen dead in a Skoda.

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Why does ACDC prefer Android to Apple?

She's Got The Jack

What is loud and sounds like an apple?

AN APPLE!**

Prick Jokes More Prick Jokes

What's the difference between a porcupine and a Ferrarri?

Porcupines have pricks on the outside.

What did the tailor say when he pricked his finger?

Darn!

Road Jokes More Road Jokes

Why did Sepp Blatter cross the road?

To get to the other bribe

Why did the chicken cross the road twice?

Because it was a double-crosser

Terrorist Jokes More Terrorist Jokes

Why is it I cant get a mobile reception in my house in town, yet a terrorist can upload his vids from a cave in Afganistan?

Is there a terrorist mobile tariff I can go on

What should have tipped off the airline ticket sellers on 9/11?

When the terrorists asked for anything cheaper than one-way.

Elephant Jokes More Elephant Jokes

What time would it be if five elephants were chasing you?

Five after one.

Which ant is the biggest?

Elephant

Rip Jokes More Rip Jokes

Why did the zombie start ripping up sheet music?

Because he was de-composing.

What did the Scotsman say when he ripped his trousers?

Och noo, me troosers!

911 Jokes More 911 Jokes

Why didn't the blond call 911?

She couldn't find the 11 on the dial pad.

What's your emer- DOG: HE THREW A BALL BUT I CAN'T FIND IT DOG 911: He still holding it?

DOG: YES! HOW'D HE FETCH IT BEFORE ME

Porcupine Jokes More Porcupine Jokes

What's the difference between a porcupine and a Hummer?

The porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

What do you call a cross between a skunk, a wolverine, and a porcupine?

Sir" from a distance.