Why did the mobster buy a planner?

So he could organize his crime

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Why do people buy expensive rims?

They're investing in wheel estate.

Who ever said time cannot be bought?

I bought some thyme yesterday.

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How does NASA organize their Christmas party?

They planet

How do you organize an outer space party?

You planet

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What crime was committed against the coffee?

He was mugged.

Why did the husband go to jail for a crime his wife committed?

Because they finish each other's sentences

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Why didn't the mobsters car parts fit?

They all fell off a truck.

What did the mobster call it when he couldn't move his dead friend's body?

Rigatoni!