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Why did the mobster buy a planner?

So he could organize his crime

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Where did you buy all that junk?

Kid: At the Joke shop.

Why did the pervert buy 16.5 pints of salsa?

2 gals 1 cup(http://www.reddit.com/r/Canning/comments/yyhsp/my20triptothelocallatinmarketnetted165/)

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How do you organize a space party?

You planet.

How does NASA organize their Christmas party?

They planet

Crime Jokes More Crime Jokes

Why aren't you allowed alcohol on a golf course?

Because it's a crime to drink and drive.

What happens after an alligator commits a crime?

You call an investigator

Mobster Jokes More Mobster Jokes

What did the mobster call it when he couldn't move his dead friend's body?

Rigatoni!

Where did the mobster go to college?

Whas-a-matta U.