Mobster Jokes

Why didn't the mobsters car parts fit?

They all fell off a truck.

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Where did the mobster go to college?

Whas-a-matta U.

What did the mobster call it when he couldn't move his dead friend's body?

Rigatoni!

Why was the cake afraid of mobsters?

He knew they were going to ice him.

Why did the mobster buy a planner?

So he could organize his crime

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Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

Why did Karl Marx always buy cheap tea?

Because he believed that all proper tea was theft.

Why buy expensive fireworks when you can make your own with ordinary household chemicals?

I said, and the other patients in the ER agreed.

Specialize Jokes More Specialize Jokes

What do you call a repair shop that specializes in hearses?

A rehearsal.

What do you call the grounds of a university that specializes in teaching neuroscience to hippopotamuses?

Hippocampus!

Cake Jokes More Cake Jokes

Why was the cake lonely?

Because he was deserted by his friends

How easy is it to get stoned in Amsterdam?

It's a piece of cake.

Police Car Jokes More Police Car Jokes

What did the police car say to the muscle car?

Torque

What do women and police cars have in common?

They both make a lot of noise to let you know they are coming.

Organize Jokes More Organize Jokes

What do you call a French organized crime detective?

J'accuza

How do you organize a space party?

You planet.

Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

What burns longer, a red or a green candle?

Neither, they both burn shorter.

What happened when the shoe factory burned down?

500 soles were lost.

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What's the difference between Joe Paterno and Harambe?

Harambe tried to save the kids.

What's the definition of a good actor?

Somebody who tries hard to be everybody but himself.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why is Santa always happy?

Because he knows where the naughty girls live. (a kid told me this one)

What do I want to do to your body?

I don't know. Identify it, I guess.