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What crime is he accused of?

Vesicular Basalt

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What squeaks as it solves crimes?

Miami mice!

What's next, thought crimes?

CNN: If you stare at your hand for a long time it will look weird

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What did Buddy Fletcher, accused ponzi scheme runner and husband of reddit's CEO, say to the duck?

Deleted

What did the cat say when it was wrongfully accused of a crime and sent behind bars?

Let Meowt!!!!