Accuse Jokes

What happened when Turkey was accused of being Chicken?

It staged a coup

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What do you call a none in a wheelchair?

Virgin Mobile I'm not sorry (PS, if this is a repost, I'm sorry that I didn't see the first time it got posted 2 years ago. Please don't accuse me of reposting)

What did the cat say when it was wrongfully accused of a crime and sent behind bars?

Let Meowt!!!!

What crime is he accused of?

Vesicular Basalt

What did the Roman say when the Greek accused him of stealing his gods?

It was all a myth-take!

Why was Sean Connery accused of piracy while drinking tea?

He took a ship.

What did Buddy Fletcher, accused ponzi scheme runner and husband of reddit's CEO, say to the duck?

Deleted

What did the walking staff say when accused of misleading sheep?

I am not a crook!

What do you call a wrongly accused art thief?

Framed

What did the farmer say when the police found the gate from the public footpath in his barn and accused him of stealing?

That's not my stile.

Whats the difference between Zoidburg and Snowden?

Both accused of treason for expressing their freedom but Zoidburg didn't get his marshmallows!

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Why did the feminist accuse her teacher of misogyny?

Because he'd D graded her.

Why did Luke Skywalker get in trouble for using the Live Long and Prosper sign?

It's because he was accused of cultural appropriation.

Why did the robot get detention?

Because he was accused of Boolean.

Why was the driver fired from the destruction derby?

He was accused of wreckless driving.

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Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

How many moths does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just two, but how they get in there.. I don't know. (Stolen from an old Maxim in my dad's storage)

What do Winnie the Pooh and Ivan the Terrible have in common?

The same middle name. (Shamelessly stolen from Cortana.)

Sheep Jokes More Sheep Jokes

What do you get when you cross a sheep with a robot?

Steel wool

What do you call sheep in the Middle East?

Arak of lamb

Barn Jokes More Barn Jokes

What does a bull do to stay warm on a cold day?

It goes into a barn and slips into a nice warm Jersey.

What does a bull do on a bitter cold winter day?

He goes into the barn and slips inside a warm Jersey

Greek Jokes More Greek Jokes

What do you call it when a Greek handicap falls over?

Olympus has fallen.

What do Greek teenagers say?

Omega!! Note: surely it already exists but I thought of it independently and am proud of my terrible joke!

Ship Jokes More Ship Jokes

What kind of ships can't go in salt water?

Snail-boats

What is the strictest part of a ship?

The stern

Repost Jokes More Repost Jokes

What do Reddit and building a mile long fence have in common?

Post...repost.....repost....repost...repost...

What's the difference between an original joke and a repost?

I don't know, I just click "submit"

Mislead Jokes More Mislead Jokes

How did the metal get the wrong idea?

He was misled.

What did the walking staff say when accused of misleading sheep?

I am not a crook!

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

Why did the investment banker leave her husband?

She was losing interest.

What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a supermodel?

Nothing if her husband knows what's good for him!