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Accuse Jokes

What happened when Turkey was accused of being Chicken?

It staged a coup

We've Got This Love Thing Down

We've Got This Love Thing Down

What did the cat say when it was wrongfully accused of a crime and sent behind bars?

Let Meowt!!!!

What crime is he accused of?

Vesicular Basalt

What did the Roman say when the Greek accused him of stealing his gods?

It was all a myth-take!

Why was Sean Connery accused of piracy while drinking tea?

He took a ship.

What did Buddy Fletcher, accused ponzi scheme runner and husband of reddit's CEO, say to the duck?

Deleted

What did the walking staff say when accused of misleading sheep?

I am not a crook!

What do you call a wrongly accused art thief?

Framed

What did the farmer say when the police found the gate from the public footpath in his barn and accused him of stealing?

That's not my stile.

Whats the difference between Zoidburg and Snowden?

Both accused of treason for expressing their freedom but Zoidburg didn't get his marshmallows!

Why did the feminist accuse her teacher of misogyny?

Because he'd D graded her.

Love

Love

Why did Luke Skywalker get in trouble for using the Live Long and Prosper sign?

It's because he was accused of cultural appropriation.

Why did the robot get detention?

Because he was accused of Boolean.

Why was the driver fired from the destruction derby?

He was accused of wreckless driving.

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Sean Connery Jokes More Sean Connery Jokes

What happened when Sean Connery bought himself a little kitten?

The cat shat on the mat.

What is Sean Connery's favorite sport, and around what age did he start playing?

Tennish

Virgin Mobile Jokes More Virgin Mobile Jokes

What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?

Virgin mobile.

What do you call a car full of nuns?

Virgin Mobile

Crime Jokes More Crime Jokes

What do you call a scam artist who uses his vocabulary to commit crimes?

A LexiCon

What do you call someone who finishes a sentence with you?

Partner in crime.

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

Why do sailors drink so much?

We sleep better when the room is moving

What do Canadians drink when the beer is all gone?

Hard eh.

Bar Jokes More Bar Jokes

Why did all the prisoners at the AT&ampT jail escape?

Because they had no bars on their cells!

A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before. What can I get for you?"

Pop,goes the weasel.

Wheelchair Jokes More Wheelchair Jokes

What is the only inedible part of a vegetable?

The wheelchair

What does a shopping cart and a wheelchair have in common?

They both can be used to carry vegetables....

Send Jokes More Send Jokes

Why doesn't NASA send cows to space?

Because the stakes would be too high.

Who sends flowers on Valentines Day?

Cupigs!

Gate Jokes More Gate Jokes

What vocation can transform anything into a gate?

A reporter.

What should you do if windows crashes cost you a lot of money?

You should Bill Gates.