Sheep Jokes

What do you get if you cross a sheep and a kangaroo?

A wooly jumper!

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What do you call the offspring of a sheep and a gorilla?

HaRAMbe

What did one sheep say to the other?

Hey look, we have the same IPhone case

What did the sheep use to shave before his wedding?

Elopping shears

What do you call sheep in the Middle East?

Arak of lamb

What do you get if you combine a sheep and a kangaroo?

A woolly jumper.

What did the sheep say to the farmers crop?

This is baaaad.

What did the sheep say to the sheepdog faking deafness?

You herd me!

How did the sheep get a Nobel Prize?

It was out standing in its field!

What do you call a sheep taking Ambien?

Shleepy!

Why did the drunk guy call the sheep Legolas?

Because it was a cloud

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What does a sheep call a film it doesn't like?

A baaahhhd movie. ()

What do you get when you inject human DNA into a sheep?

Banned from the petting zoo...

Why do sheep love Star Wars Episode V?

Because Dey-go-bah.

What do you call a sheep giving birth in a bedroom?

Bedlam

What do you get when you cross a sheep with a robot?

Steel wool

What do you call a sheep with no legs?

A cloud.

What did the walking staff say when accused of misleading sheep?

I am not a crook!

What do you call a big cat disguised to blend in with a herd of sheep?

A sheopard.

What Do you get when you cross a kangaroo and a Sheep?

A WOOLY JUMPER

What do you call it when a sheep sells his wool for money?

Cashearing! (Joke I made up last night at work, so be gentle with me)

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Why does Yoda like sheep?

Because dey go baa...

What did the Shepard say when he saw the sheep?

I herd that!

What's the best way to milk a sheep?

Ask Apple.

What does a sheep say after walking into a disgusting, dirty bar?

Ew.

What does a sheep in denial say?

Nahhhh

How do sheep greet each other at Christmas?

A Merry Christmas to ewe

What does a sheep, a drum, and a snake all say when falling off of a cliff?

Baa-Dum-Sss

How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?

Fleece Navidad!

Why couldn't the spotty cat chase the sheep?

Because her Mum wouldn't leopard be a shepherd

What did Medusa call the sheep she turned to stone?

Baaaaasalt

What do you get if you cross a dog and a sheep?

A sheep that can round itself up!

How do sheep divide candy?

They all get their fair shear

What did the sheep say when he saw his girlfriend?

Baaaaaeeeee!

How do sheep sign their e-mails?

Ewes sincerely.

How do you milk sheep?

With iPhone accessories.

How do you milk a sheep?

With iPhone periph**e**rals.

What did the sheep at the fraternity say?

Braaaaaaaah

What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?

A chocolate BAAA

What do you get if you cross a sheep with a holiday resort?

The Baaahaaamaaas!

Why should you always tend sheep near a hospital?

Because at any moment they could bleet out

What did Jesus say to the flock of sheep?

I herd that.

What would Vincent Van Gogh be if he was a sheep?

Lamb Gogh

What do you hear when a sheep blows up?

Sis boom baa Carnac

What rating did Moody's give to the sheep?

BAAA

What does a bald elephant wear for a toupee?

A sheep.

Why did the sheep jump into the lake?

He wanted to take a ba-a-a-th.

What do you call a sheep with no legs?

A cloud.

What do you get when you cross a bee and a sheep?

A bah-humbug.

Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?

The baa-baa shop.

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Harambe Jokes More Harambe Jokes

What's the difference between the people and bullets?

The people miss Harambe.

What's the difference between humans and bullets?

Humans miss Harambe.

4 Jokes More 4 Jokes

What happens when you die?

Me: You go to heaven. 4: No, I mean when you die, do I get your stuff

What has 4 wheels and flies?

A garbage truck

Sheep Farmer Jokes More Sheep Farmer Jokes

What's the most frustrating part about being a sheep farmer?

Every time you try to take inventory, you fall asleep.

What does the license plate of the sheep farmer say?

Ewe haul.

Wooly Jumper Jokes More Wooly Jumper Jokes

What do you get if you cross a sheep and a kangaroo?

A wooly jumper!

What Do you get when you cross a kangaroo and a Sheep?

A WOOLY JUMPER

Divide Jokes More Divide Jokes

Why can a number divided by zero never be found in the dictionary?

Because it's undefined.

Why did I divide sin by tan?

Just cos.

Inventory Jokes More Inventory Jokes

What's the most frustrating part about being a sheep farmer?

Every time you try to take inventory, you fall asleep.

What do you call inventory that doesn't exist?

Finnish Goods

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

Which Greek God loved to collect animals?

Zoos

Why does God love atheists?

Because they don't bother Him with incessant prayer.

Count Jokes More Count Jokes

When can you count on a hamburger in an emergency?

When the chips are down!

How does The Terminator lose weight?

By counting Kylereese.