Sheep Jokes

They just wanna be loved by ewe. Made up this joke/pun at work the other day (I'm sure I'm not the first), decided to subject you all to it. All apologies to shepherds who are not physical with your sheep.

What do you call it when a sheep sells his wool for money?

Cashearing! (Joke I made up last night at work, so be gentle with me)

Why does Yoda like sheep?

Because dey go baa...

What do the Welsh call a sheep when it's tied to a lamp post?

The leisure centre.

What did the Shepard say when he saw the sheep?

I herd that!

April Sale

I Love Pizza & You

$5.99

Why do they wear skirts in New Zealand?

Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

What's the best way to milk a sheep?

Ask Apple.

What does a sheep say after walking into a disgusting, dirty bar?

Ew.

What does a sheep in denial say?

Nahhhh

How do sheep greet each other at Christmas?

A Merry Christmas to ewe

What does a sheep, a drum, and a snake all say when falling off of a cliff?

Baa-Dum-Sss

How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?

Fleece Navidad!

Why couldn't the spotty cat chase the sheep?

Because her Mum wouldn't leopard be a shepherd

What did Medusa call the sheep she turned to stone?

Baaaaasalt

What do you get if you cross a dog and a sheep?

A sheep that can round itself up!

How do sheep divide candy?

They all get their fair shear

What did the sheep say when he saw his girlfriend?

Baaaaaeeeee!

How do sheep sign their e-mails?

Ewes sincerely.

What are the three biggest lies an Oklahoma State fan tells?

I WON this belt buckle, I OWN that truck, and I swear to God I was just helping that sheep over the fence.

How do you milk sheep?

With iPhone accessories.

How do you milk a sheep?

With iPhone periph**e**rals.

What did the sheep at the fraternity say?

Braaaaaaaah

What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?

A chocolate BAAA

What do you get if you cross a sheep with a holiday resort?

The Baaahaaamaaas!

Why should you always tend sheep near a hospital?

Because at any moment they could bleet out

What did Jesus say to the flock of sheep?

I herd that.

What would Vincent Van Gogh be if he was a sheep?

Lamb Gogh

What time zone are you in when you find a sheep stuck in a fence?

Mountin' time

Why do New Zealand race horses run faster than other race horses?

They saw what happened to the sheep

What do you hear when a sheep blows up?

Sis boom baa Carnac

Why did the sheep move house?

The neighbours were baaastsrds.

Why does the Navy put Marines on board ships?

A. "Because sheep would be too obvious"

What did the sheep obsessed convict say to Jared Fogle?

I have a footlong waiting for **ewe** back in my cell!!!!

What rating did Moody's give to the sheep?

BAAA

What does a bald elephant wear for a toupee?

A sheep.

Why did the sheep jump into the lake?

He wanted to take a ba-a-a-th.

Why are the sheep in Africa coloured pink?

The elephants are using them as tampons

What do you call a sheep with no legs?

A cloud.

What do you get when you cross a bee and a sheep?

A bah-humbug.

Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?

The baa-baa shop.

You might also enjoy:

Shear Jokes More Shear Jokes

What's the Welsh word for shearing a sheep?

Foreplay

What did the sheep use to shave before his wedding?

Elopping shears

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What are the best funny fake names you know?

I submit - Craven Moorehead

How many paranoids does it take to change a lightbulb?

Who wants to know?

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

Why was the man arrested for looking at sets of dentures in a dentist's window?

Because it was against the law to pick your teeth in public.

Why couldn't the anthropologist find any Lomekwian tools?

They were looking in Oldowan places

Inventory Jokes More Inventory Jokes

What did the auditors say to the South American shopkeeper?

Hello, I'm here to Peru-se your inventory.

What's the most frustrating part about being a sheep farmer?

Every time you try to take inventory, you fall asleep.

Harambe Jokes More Harambe Jokes

What does Harambe order when he goes to a restaurant?

He gets the kids meal.

What do you call the offspring of a sheep and a gorilla?

HaRAMbe

4 Jokes More 4 Jokes

When does a Pentagon have only 4 sides?

When it is intercepted by a plane.

How many beers is that for you today, dear?

Me: Like 4 maybe. 5 tops. Wife: I counted 19. Me: Well I rounded down.

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

What is the difference between a man falling from a 2nd floor and a man falling from an 8th floor?

That the man that falls from the 2nd floor does: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH While the man falling from the 8th floor does: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

Why does Jesus hate M&Ms?

They keep falling through his hands.

Divide Jokes More Divide Jokes

How do a neckbeard's cells divide?

By m'tosis

How do you teach a girl math?

Subtract her clothes, divide her legs, give her a square root and watch her multiply.

Sheep Jokes

What do you get if you cross a sheep and a kangaroo?

Birthday State of Mind

What do you call the offspring of a sheep and a gorilla?

What did one sheep say to the other?

What did the sheep use to shave before his wedding?

What do elephants use for tampons?

What do you call sheep in the Middle East?

Why does ISIS like sheep?

What do you get if you combine a sheep and a kangaroo?

What did the sheep say to the farmers crop?

Why do Scottish men wear kilts instead of jeans?

Why do New Zealand farmers now wear kilts?

Love Card

What did the sheep say to the sheepdog faking deafness?

How did the sheep get a Nobel Prize?

What do you call a sheep taking Ambien?

Why did the drunk guy call the sheep Legolas?

What does a sheep call a film it doesn't like?

What do you get when you inject human DNA into a sheep?

Why do sheep love Star Wars Episode V?

What do you call a sheep tied to a lamp post in New Zealand?

What do you call a sheep giving birth in a bedroom?

What do you get when you cross a sheep with a robot?

Couple's Daily Question Mug

What do you call a sheep with no legs?

What did the walking staff say when accused of misleading sheep?

What do you call a big cat disguised to blend in with a herd of sheep?

How does a sheep farmer find a sheep on top of the mountain?

What Do you get when you cross a kangaroo and a Sheep?

How are the band "The Scorpions" and rural shepherds alike?

What do you call it when a sheep sells his wool for money?

Why does Yoda like sheep?

What do the Welsh call a sheep when it's tied to a lamp post?

What did the Shepard say when he saw the sheep?

I Love Pizza & You

Why do they wear skirts in New Zealand?

What's the best way to milk a sheep?

What does a sheep say after walking into a disgusting, dirty bar?

What does a sheep in denial say?

How do sheep greet each other at Christmas?

What does a sheep, a drum, and a snake all say when falling off of a cliff?

How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?

Why couldn't the spotty cat chase the sheep?

What did Medusa call the sheep she turned to stone?

What do you get if you cross a dog and a sheep?

How do sheep divide candy?

What did the sheep say when he saw his girlfriend?

How do sheep sign their e-mails?

What are the three biggest lies an Oklahoma State fan tells?

How do you milk sheep?

How do you milk a sheep?

What did the sheep at the fraternity say?

What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?

What do you get if you cross a sheep with a holiday resort?

Why should you always tend sheep near a hospital?

What did Jesus say to the flock of sheep?

What would Vincent Van Gogh be if he was a sheep?

What time zone are you in when you find a sheep stuck in a fence?

Why do New Zealand race horses run faster than other race horses?

What do you hear when a sheep blows up?

Why did the sheep move house?

Why does the Navy put Marines on board ships?

What did the sheep obsessed convict say to Jared Fogle?

What rating did Moody's give to the sheep?

What does a bald elephant wear for a toupee?

Why did the sheep jump into the lake?

Why are the sheep in Africa coloured pink?

What do you call a sheep with no legs?

What do you get when you cross a bee and a sheep?

Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?

You might also enjoy:

What's the Welsh word for shearing a sheep?

What did the sheep use to shave before his wedding?

What are the best funny fake names you know?

How many paranoids does it take to change a lightbulb?

Why was the man arrested for looking at sets of dentures in a dentist's window?

Why couldn't the anthropologist find any Lomekwian tools?

What did the auditors say to the South American shopkeeper?

What's the most frustrating part about being a sheep farmer?