What did the sheep use to shave before his wedding?

Elopping shears

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why can't you hear Michelle Pfeiffer use the restroom?

Because her pee is silent.

What did Russians use for light before candles?

Light bulbs

Shave Jokes More Shave Jokes

What happens when a cow stops shaving?

It grows a Moostache.

How do philosophers shave off their beards?

Occam's razor

Sheep Jokes More Sheep Jokes

Why should you always tend sheep near a hospital?

Because at any moment they could bleet out

What does a sheep say after walking into a disgusting, dirty bar?

Ew.

Wedding Jokes More Wedding Jokes

Why didn't the cellphone attend the wedding?

He heard the reception was going to be terrible...

What's the difference between a wedding and a funeral?

One less drunk.

Shear Jokes More Shear Jokes

What did the sheep use to shave before his wedding?

Elopping shears