Shave Jokes

Why did sumo wrestlers start shaving their legs?

To stop getting confused as feminists

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How can you tell a sumo wrestler from a feminist?

A sumo wrestler shaves his legs.

What did the sheep use to shave before his wedding?

Elopping shears

Why is it that sumo wrestlers shave their legs?

So they don't get mistaken for feminists.

Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?

So people don't confuse them for feminists.

Why do pencils shave?

To look sharp. Credit: 3rd grade me.

Why do sumo wrestlers shave their balls?

So they don't have hairballs!

Why do Japanese Sumo wrestlers shave their legs?

So you can tell them apart from feminists.

Why should I shave my downstairs?

Guy: Because I don't like hair in my food.

Why do sumo wrestles shave their legs?

So that you can tell them apart from feminists

Why did the football team sack the hairy goalkeeper?

Because he rarely shaved the balls.

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How do you spot a sumo at a feminist rally?

Look for the one with shaved legs....

Who can shave 25 times in one day, and still have a beard?

A barber!

Why do sumo-wrestlers shave their legs?

So they don't get mistaken for feminists.

Why is it easier for women to shave "downstairs" than men?

They don't have to go through as many obsticles.

How do philosophers shave off their beards?

Occam's razor

Why'd you shave it off?

Me: I just told you...

When did razors get so expensive?

Three more payments and I'll be able to shave

What happens when a cow stops shaving?

It grows a Moostache.

Why do black cats never shave?

Because 8 out of 10 cats prefer whiskas!

How much for a haircut?

Barber: Fifteen dollars. How much for a shave Barber: Ten dollars. Right - shave my head.

What do you call a policewoman who hasn't shaved for a week?

Constable

Why did Patrick Stewart shave his head?

So he could badly go where no man has gone before.

What do you call shaving a crazy sheep?

Shear madness.

How do you shave your balls?

After thinking for a few moments I say "Carefully"

What do you call someone who has to shave 30 times a day?

A barber

What kind of dog always needs a shave?

A bearded collie!

How do I feel about your goatee?

I shave every part of my legs except the knees, how do you feel about that

Why have sumo wrestlers began shaving their legs?

They were getting tired of being mistaken for feminists

How many shaves does it take to remove all a persons pubic hair?

A brazillion!

What does a shaved otter look like?

Odder... Sorry

Who can shave 25 times a day and still have a beard?

A barber.

What do logicians use to shave?

Occam's razor

Why isn't Sean Connery allowed to play Super Mario Bros. any more?

He kept trying to shave the princess.

Why does a barber never shave a man with a wooden leg?

Because he always uses a razor.

What's the difference between a sumo and a feminist?

A sumo shaves their legs.

Why do Sumo Wrestler's shave their bodies?

So that they don't get mistaken for feminists

Who can shave 30 times a day and still have a beard?

A barber.

Why didn't the feminist shave her arm pits?

Just kidding, just wanted to rile a few people up. But if you want to have a punchline contest, feel free.

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How are old jokes on reddit like a herpes outbreak?

You know they are going to keep coming back, and despite the fact they are weaker each time, you still don't look forward to them.

How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed?

You wake up wet!

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How do you spot a sumo at a feminist rally?

Look for the one with shaved legs....

What's the difference between a sumo and a feminist?

A sumo shaves their legs.

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How do you confuse a man?

You don't - they're born that way.

Why was the blonde confused after giving birth to twins?

She couldn't figure out who the other mother was.

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How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.

What does Hodor start off his day with?

Raisin' Bran.

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Why don't girls like playing dodgeball?

Because we don't like getting hit by balls. 12: *giggles for 5 minutes* You are so my child

What would you like today?

Me: Make me look attractive. Barber: CAROL! CANCEL ALL MY APPOINTMENTS!

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What did the pencil say?

Nevermind, it's pointless.

What did the pencil say to the sharpener?

Stop going in circles and get to the point.

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Who placed 3rd for basketball in the 2016 Olympics?

LeBronze James

How many 3rd wave feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Whats the point 3rd wave feminists can't take a joke anyway.

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How much for a haircut?

Barber: Fifteen dollars. How much for a shave Barber: Ten dollars. Right - shave my head.

What Do You Call A Line Of Men Waiting For A Haircut?

A Barbecue. Christmas crackers are just full of laughs.