Shave Jokes

Why did sumo wrestlers start shaving their legs?

To stop getting confused as feminists

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How can you tell a sumo wrestler from a feminist?

A sumo wrestler shaves his legs.

What did the sheep use to shave before his wedding?

Elopping shears

Why is it that sumo wrestlers shave their legs?

So they don't get mistaken for feminists.

Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?

So people don't confuse them for feminists.

Why do pencils shave?

To look sharp. Credit: 3rd grade me.

Why do sumo wrestlers shave their balls?

So they don't have hairballs!

Why should I shave my downstairs?

Guy: Because I don't like hair in my food.

Why do sumo wrestles shave their legs?

So that you can tell them apart from feminists

Why did the football team sack the hairy goalkeeper?

Because he rarely shaved the balls.

How do you spot a sumo at a feminist rally?

Look for the one with shaved legs....

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Who can shave 25 times in one day, and still have a beard?

A barber!

Why do sumo-wrestlers shave their legs?

So they don't get mistaken for feminists.

How do philosophers shave off their beards?

Occam's razor

Why'd you shave it off?

Me: I just told you...

When did razors get so expensive?

Three more payments and I'll be able to shave

What happens when a cow stops shaving?

It grows a Moostache.

Why do black cats never shave?

Because 8 out of 10 cats prefer whiskas!

How much for a haircut?

Barber: Fifteen dollars. How much for a shave Barber: Ten dollars. Right - shave my head.

What do you call a policewoman who hasn't shaved for a week?

Constable

Why did Patrick Stewart shave his head?

So he could badly go where no man has gone before.

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What do you call shaving a crazy sheep?

Shear madness.

How do you shave your balls?

After thinking for a few moments I say "Carefully"

What do you call someone who has to shave 30 times a day?

A barber

What kind of dog always needs a shave?

A bearded collie!

How do I feel about your goatee?

I shave every part of my legs except the knees, how do you feel about that

Why have sumo wrestlers began shaving their legs?

They were getting tired of being mistaken for feminists

How many shaves does it take to remove all a persons pubic hair?

A brazillion!

What does a shaved otter look like?

Odder... Sorry

Who can shave 25 times a day and still have a beard?

A barber.

What do logicians use to shave?

Occam's razor

Why isn't Sean Connery allowed to play Super Mario Bros. any more?

He kept trying to shave the princess.

Why does a barber never shave a man with a wooden leg?

Because he always uses a razor.

Why do Sumo Wrestler's shave their bodies?

So that they don't get mistaken for feminists

Who can shave 30 times a day and still have a beard?

A barber.

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Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

Why did the bus stop?

Because it saw the zebra crossing.

Who r they 2 stop u?

Boy: My wife &amp 2 kids.

Football Team Jokes More Football Team Jokes

Why did the football team sack the hairy goalkeeper?

Because he rarely shaved the balls.

Which football team loves ice-cream?

Aston Vanilla!

Shear Jokes More Shear Jokes

What did the sheep use to shave before his wedding?

Elopping shears

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

How do you know a homeless woman is menstruating?

If she's only wearing one sock. (This joke brought to you courtesy the homeless guy outside my local 7-11.) Edit: tweaked the punchline.

What does a psychologist wear to bed?

A Freudian slip.

Italian Man Jokes More Italian Man Jokes

Why couldn't the Italian man start his car?

Gnocchi

Grade Jokes More Grade Jokes

Why did Tupac go to the gym?

To get a sixpac! (Thank you 7th grade me)

What were the three toughest years in Al Gore's life?

Grade six.

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

Which president likes doing laundry?

George WASHING-A-TON. He's the 8 year old white Kevin Hart.

Why didn't Jesus like to play hockey?

He didn't like getting nailed to the boards.

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

Why did the young ghost leave the party?

Everyone started drinking boo's. Happy Halloween!

How do you start a Mexican bedtime story?

Juans upon a time.