Food Jokes

None. Mice can't change light-bulbs as they are mere rodents without the physical or mental ability to do so. Not to mention it's much safer for them to pilfer food in the dark.

What did the food say to the other food, while inside a stomach?

I won't digest yet.

Why does the food take so long at an Internet cafe?

Because the servers cannot be found

Why didn't the shrimp share his food?

He was a little shellfish

Why didn't you make all the food on that long order?

Cook: Because I'm a short order cook.

What do you call a small dog that can store food?

Pupperware

What happens when you drink food colouring?

You dye a little on the inside.

Why did the hipster burn his tounge?

Because he ate his food before it was cool.

What did Ryu say when I asked if I could have some of his food?

SHORYUKEN***

Why do they thank me in the cafeteria when I pay for my food like I had a choice?

Just tell me "enjoy the diarrhea" and I'll move along.

What do you call food between two slices of bread?

A sandwich

Where's the food and why are you naked?

Me: "Am I doing it wrong This is my first picnic."

What's the worst thing you're likely to find in the school cafeteria?

The food!

What's worse than finding hair in your food?

Finding out the chef is bald.

What do Asgardians use to keep food hot?

A Thormos.

Why is manna from heaven like horse hay?

Both are food from aloft!

How do you order food at a Muslim restaurant?

Allah carte.

Where does a Mexican store his food?

Hispantry

Whole Foods ME: Hi CLERK: Hello ME: Do you...uh CLERK: Do we what?

ME: Do you have any...uh CLERK: Go on ME: Do you have any Half Foods

Why wasn't there any food after the monster party?

Because everyone was a goblin.

What food should you avoid if you don't want to go to court?

Sue-shi! I'll excuse myself.

What's a cannibal's favourite type of food?

Finger food!

What's "saying grace?

Me: It's when we thank the one who provided our food. 4-year-old: We thank the microwave

What food can tell you if a girl is pregnant?

Chickpea

Why did the chicken lay an egg?

To get food for her babies!

How do Muslims like their food served?

Allah Carte

What do you call a rotten lamb chop?

Food gone ba-a-a-a-a-ad.

What food do vampires hate?

Steaks.

What do you call a Parrot that loves maths and hates food?

A polynomeal

What did Shrek say when the waiter dropped off his food at the German Restaurant?

Donkey!" (Danke) You gotta say it with the Shrek accent to work.

Why do Americans deep fry so much food?

A. They love OIL

What did Charles Darwin name his book about food?

On the Origin of Feces*

Why did the pig join the Army?

He heard the food was a mess.

How can you tell if a witch is on a diet?

Her food is potion-controlled.

How can you make a slow horse fast?

Don't give him any food.

Why don't emus ever finish all the food on their plates?

They don't want to be ostrich-sized!

How does Dracula like to have his food served?

In bite-sized pieces.

What country do all cats wish to get their food from?

Viet NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM

What food are you able to can?

Cannibal (can able) food.

What does the lion say to his friends before they go out hunting for food?

Let us prey.

What food is good for the brain?

Noodle soup.

Why doesn't your menu list prices?

Waiter: We didn't want to make you sick before the food does.

What do you get if you cross a bag of snakes and a cupboard of food?

Snakes and Larders!sna

What's the cure for world hunger?

Food

Why doesn't this restaurant have any specials?

Waiter: Because nothing about this food is special.

What is the similarity in between a dark joke and food?

Not everyone gets it

What does a panda say when it's out of food?

Chute

What is the sun's favourite kind of food?

Sol food

A ham sandwhich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says...

I'm sorry, we don't serve food here

Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon?

The food is great, but there’s just no atmosphere.

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Which pirate makes the best food?

Captain Cook.

What is the best food to order from Amazon?

Prime Rib

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What did they find floating in the toilet of the S.S Enterprise?

Captains Log

What do you find in a rythmic bakery?

A-bun-dance

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Why are gingers' feet so rough?

Because they have no soles

What is the Sun's favorite type of music?

Sol.

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What do cannibals call family members they love?

Bae-Kin

What do cannibals and politicians have in common?

They both enjoy handshakes.

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What's a Chinese chicken's favorite vegetable?

Buock choi

What did the Chinese billionaire say after buying the deer with no eyes?

I have no Idea.

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What do you call two Korean lovers?

Seoulmates

What do you call Korean soul food?

Okra Gangnam Style

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How do you get out of the stomach of an elephant?

Run around until you get pooped out

What does an egg say when it gets punched in the stomach?

Oeuf!