What did the plate say to the mug?

Food's on me tonight.

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Plate Jokes More Plate Jokes

Why don't emus ever finish all the food on their plates?

They don't want to be ostrich-sized!

Where does Saddam Hussein keep his plates?

In Iraq.

Tonight Jokes More Tonight Jokes

What time is our movie tonight?

Me: 7:30. It's 2 hours 50 minutes Hub: WHAT! I CANT STAY UP TILL 10:30 "Back off ladies. He's mine"

Why does vampire Superman want to go out?

Because he doesn't want to be around the crypt tonight. (you can tell i made that up)

Food Jokes More Food Jokes

Why did the chicken lay an egg?

To get food for her babies!

Where's the food and why are you naked?

Me: "Am I doing it wrong This is my first picnic."

Mug Jokes More Mug Jokes

Why did the coffee file a police report?

It got mugged.

What crime was committed against the coffee?

He was mugged.