Plate Jokes

What did the plate say to the fork?

Don't worry, the dinner's on me.

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How many dogs does it take to count 14 plates?

14, maybe 15, but only if the plates... 'run around a lot!'

What did one plate say to the other?

Lunch is on me.

How many plates do you need to draw a picture?

Tenplates

What happens to a plate made out of cookies when you drop it?

It chips.

Why did my family serve Eggs Benedict on a hubcap for Christmas breakfast?

Because there's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise.

What is the best kind of plate for a continental breakfast?

A tectonic plate!

What would you call a restaurant for anorexics?

The Empty Plate...

Why should you serve Eggs Benedict on shiny metal dishes?

Because there's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise.

What do you call a resturaunt for bulemia victims?

The Empty Plate

What did the plate say to the mug?

Food's on me tonight.

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Where does Saddam Hussein keep his plates?

In Iraq.

What is Somailias national dish?

An empty plate

Where does the catcher sit for dinner?

Behind the plate.

What is a dog's favourite food?

Anything that is on your plate!

Why is there a draft?

Diner: Yes it's blown my steak off the plate three times.

Why don't emus ever finish all the food on their plates?

They don't want to be ostrich-sized!

What do you call someone who breaks a plate and then apologizes?

Dishrespectful...

What did one plate say to the other plate?

Dinner is on me!

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Chinese Jokes More Chinese Jokes

Why didn't King Kong go to Hong Kong?

He didn't like Chinese food.

How does a Chinese man start a religious video?

Press pray.

Count Jokes More Count Jokes

How many dogs does it take to count 14 plates?

14, maybe 15, but only if the plates... 'run around a lot!'

How do they count the Mexican immigrants?

They start with Juan

Geologist Jokes More Geologist Jokes

What did the geologist say at the Chinese restaurant?

May I have Eurasian plate?

Which similarities do Bon Jovi and geologists share?

They like rock.

Diaper Jokes More Diaper Jokes

How do diapers work?

Hnng. Aaaaaaaah. Like that. I'll show myself the door.

Why did the baby squirrel wear a diaper?

To hide his nuts!!

Fail Jokes More Fail Jokes

Why are so many computer scientists atheists?

Because praying for a bug fix is guaranteed to fail.

Why did the Soviet Union fail?

Too much Stalin'. Yeah it's bad but it made me giggle when I thought of it...

Lunch Jokes More Lunch Jokes

What did the baby seal order for lunch?

The club sandwich.

What did Hillary have for lunch the other day?

Little Seizures

Continent Jokes More Continent Jokes

Why do tectonic plates wear diapers?

Because they're in continents.

What Pokémon does South America have that other continents don't?

Zikachu.

Worry Jokes More Worry Jokes

How do you know if someone has a Samsung phone without asking?

Don't worry, they've already told you the superior qualities it has over all the other smart phones by this time.

What did the hill that was counting its pocket change say to the other hill?

Don't worry, I'm just amounting.