Plate Jokes

What did the plate say to the fork?

Don't worry, the dinner's on me.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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How many dogs does it take to count 14 plates?

14, maybe 15, but only if the plates... 'run around a lot!'

What did one plate say to the other?

Lunch is on me.

How many plates do you need to draw a picture?

Tenplates

What happens to a plate made out of cookies when you drop it?

It chips.

Why did my family serve Eggs Benedict on a hubcap for Christmas breakfast?

Because there's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise.

What is the best kind of plate for a continental breakfast?

A tectonic plate!

Why should you serve Eggs Benedict on shiny metal dishes?

Because there's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise.

What do you call a resturaunt for bulemia victims?

The Empty Plate

What did the plate say to the mug?

Food's on me tonight.

Where does Saddam Hussein keep his plates?

In Iraq.

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What is Somailias national dish?

An empty plate

Where does the catcher sit for dinner?

Behind the plate.

What is a dog's favourite food?

Anything that is on your plate!

Why don't emus ever finish all the food on their plates?

They don't want to be ostrich-sized!

What do you call someone who breaks a plate and then apologizes?

Dishrespectful...

What did one plate say to the other plate?

Dinner is on me!

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Count Jokes More Count Jokes

How does Rudy Giuliani count to 10?

He doesn't he skips 1-8 and says 9-11 ten times.

What do you call the Lord Commander of the Night's Watch voting?

Counting Crows

Lick Jokes More Lick Jokes

How strict is the "I licked it, it's mine" policy?

There's some things I've licked that I don't want.

What did the blonde's mother say when she asked if she could lick the bowl?

Just flush it like everybody else does.

Diaper Jokes More Diaper Jokes

What do you call someone who wears a diaper fashioned from a map?

Incontinent

How do diapers work?

Hnng. Aaaaaaaah. Like that. I'll show myself the door.

Bro Jokes More Bro Jokes

What did one bodybuilder ask the other?

How much do you whey bro

Why, Bro?

B1: Men with no pants... Fighting for a belt... WTF

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

Why don't witches wear underwear?

So they can get a better grip of the broom.

What type of shoes do ninjas wear?

Sneakers

Lunch Jokes More Lunch Jokes

Why was Biggie hungry at school?

He forgot Tupac his lunch!

Why are Canadians given only a half hour for lunch?

They don't want to have to retrain them.

14 Jokes More 14 Jokes

How did Mitt Romney get a 14% tax rate?

He claimed 47% of America as dependents.

How do you make gold soup?

Put 14 carrots in it.

Fork Jokes More Fork Jokes

What did the plate say to the fork?

Don't worry, the dinner's on me.

What's your favorite movie?

DATE: Girl Interupt- ME: *drops fork* What is it DATE: Girl Interu- ME: *burps* Sorry. Go on. DATE: Fargo