Dinner Jokes

What did the Cannibal get when he was late to dinner?

They gave him the cold shoulder.

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What did the plate say to the fork?

Don't worry, the dinner's on me.

Who is Superman's brother?

Supperman. Or his kid Soup-erman. One just gets to dinner on time and the other is really good and making soup. E: I thought of it in it in a dream so thats why its not so good

What do you call a water fowl looking in a window?

Peking duck. (it came to mind over dinner... I thought I would share the pain with everyone)

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

Dinner

Why was the cannibal sad at dinner?

Because he got the cold shoulder.

What does a vegetarian hunter say before dinner?

Lettuce prey

What did the sea monster have for dinner?

Fish and ships.

What is your best sushi-related joke or pun?

My dad and I are going out for sushi tonight, and he has rescheduled this dinner with me several times for dumb reasons (one night was because he randomly decided to go out drinking instead). Would love to get my revenge by making sushi puns and jokes all night, but Google is failing me--I've only been able to find jokes that either make no sense, or are just not funny at all. Help!

What do we have for dinner? Wookie steak. Is it any good?

Well its a little Chewy

Why should you never take a swordfish out to dinner?

Because you'll get stuck with the bill, and if you don't have money to pay the restaurant will call the cods on you. Fin.

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How does Batman's mom call him home for dinner?

She doesn't because she's dead.

How do you say dinner in Spanish?

JOHN CENA

What's for dinner Dad?

Is it any good?

What do you call a Mexican ready-meal?

Dinner for Juan

What do waiters want most after dinner?

The tip!

What are two things dinosaurs can't have for dinner?

Breakfast and lunch.

What did the man say when the lobster gave him food poisoning?

I'm not letting you cook dinner again

Why did the archaeologist ask a diamond out to dinner?

Because of his enthusiasm for Carbon-Dating.

What's the difference between a roasted chicken and a time bomb?

If you don't know the answer please never invite me to dinner.

Why did the hipster burn their tongue?

They ate their dinner before it was cool.

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How do Batman's parents call him to dinner?

They don't they're dead.

How does Batman's mother call him to dinner?

She doesn't, she's dead

What's it called when an Arabic author releases their latest novel after dinner?

Post-Hummus

What should I buy for dinner?

I see frozen peas are cool this time of year...you might say that's a corny joke, but it's really not. It's a pea joke.

What did the messed up psychologist have for dinner?

Freud rice.

What did the time traveller do after he ate the last bite of his dinner?

He went back 4 seconds.

What do you give an octomom for Mother's Day?

A spatula. Maybe she'll be more responsible making dinner than making babies.

What is 168?

Dinner for 4.

What did the scarecrow say when the farmer asked him in for dinner?

No thanks, I'm stuffed.

What does Batman's mum shout when it's time for dinner?

Nothing. She's dead.

How many telemarketers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, but they have to do it during dinner.

Why don't lobsters share their dinner?

Because they're shellfish!!!

Why couldn't Bach pay for his dinner?

Because he was Baroque.

What veggies are the kids having with dinner?

Me: (Smacking the bottom of a ketchup bottle) Fresh Tomatoes...

What did the Italian man with dementia have for dinner?

Forgetti Bolognese.

What did you have for breakfast?

Pea Soup Q: What did you have for lunch A: Pea Soup Q: What did you have for dinner A: Pea Soup Q: What did you do all night A: Pee soup...

What did the cannibal's wife give her husband when he came home late for dinner?

A. The cold shoulder.

Who wants to go out to dinner and scream and cry and make daddy wish he wore more condoms?

Kids: WE DO! YAY!

What did the fruit say to the vegetable before dinner?

Lettuce, pray.

What came first: the chicken or the egg?

The egg because I ate egg for breakfast and chicken for dinner.

What's the difference between a take-out dinner and a make-out session?

How can you take something out you've never put in

How does Alfred call Batman for dinner?

Dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner Batman!

Why must rabbits never miss dinner?

With out their tea they'd be Rabbis.

What do you call it when one piece of coal asks another piece of coal out to dinner?

Carbon dating.

What does a blonde make best for dinner?

Reservations.

What do Batman's parents shout when dinners ready?

NOTHING, BECAUSE THEY'RE DEAD.

Why was the first computer never invited to dinner?

It would just take a few bytes then run.

What does Asian Matthew McConaughey want for dinner?

All rice, all rice, all rice

What do rodents do after dinner?

Gopher a walk.

Why 21 didn't invite his brother for dinner?

28

What strange joke What does a white woman make for dinner?

Reservations.

Why are football players never asked for dinner?

Because they're always dribbling!

Where're you going?

Me: To dinner with my friends! Mom: Your friends Me: I'm going to use McDonalds' free Wifi to get on twitter...

Why did the Italian miss his dinner?

It'a was'a pasta his bed time

What does a black and white bear use to cook it's dinner?

A pan, duh!

What do mechanical keyboards want for dinner?

Chicken ticka ticka ticka masala

What did the teddy bear say after dinner?

I'm stuffed.

What did the Cannibal get for dinner after offending his wife?

The cold shoulder.

What did the snake say when he was offered a piece of cheese for dinner?

Thank you I'll just have a slither.

What is white and disturbes your dinner?

An avalanche.

Where does the catcher sit for dinner?

Behind the plate.

What do sea monsters have for dinner?

Fish and ships.

What's the easiest way to get off an elephant?

I don't know but you should buy it dinner first!

Why does mama aardvark call her husband a cannibal?

Because he ate his ant for dinner!

What do you want for dinner?

4: A bucket.. *Googles better school districts

What did Richard Nixon say after he tried to make dinner at the White House for the first time?

I am not a cook

What do you call an empty town after dinner?

Desserted

What did Sherlock ask his friend when he wanted to know what they were having for dinner?

Watson the menu

What do you call someone who talks on their phone during dinner?

Cellfcentered

Why didn't the Native Americans go out to dinner?

They lost their reservations.

Who's there! Bert! Bert who?

Bert the dinner!

What did one plate say to the other plate?

Dinner is on me!

Why does Superman get invited to dinners?

Because he is a Supperhero.

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Don't worry, they'll tell you.

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Don't worry, they'll tell you.

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What did the guy with 6 children say to the guy with six felonies?

I don't know they were speaking Spanish.

What does a Spanish programmer program in?

Si++

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How old?

Woman: "Thanks, she's 34 weeks. Do you have the time " Me: "Sure, it's 972 minutes past midnight."

How can you tell if your wife left you?

You get laid the same amount of times but the dishes start to pile up. Hey now!

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What is the longest rope in the world?

Europe

Why is England so special?

Only they can pull out of Europe twice in a week.

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What do mathematicians drink?

Anything to ease the pain.

Why are dogs in a lot of pain?

Because they chew balls.

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Why do blondes always smile during lightning storms?

Q. They think their picture is being taken.

Why are topologists on a world of their own?

They think on a whole different dimension.

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What are you going to have for Thanksgiving dinner?

Putin: "Turkey"

Why do Native Americans like being invited to Thanksgiving dinners?

Because usually they're stuck with reservations.

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What do cannibals and politicians have in common?

They both enjoy handshakes.

What does a cannibal bring to a barbecue?

OC) Brats!