Dinner Jokes

What did the Cannibal get when he was late to dinner?

They gave him the cold shoulder.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

What did the plate say to the fork?

Don't worry, the dinner's on me.

Who is Superman's brother?

Supperman. Or his kid Soup-erman. One just gets to dinner on time and the other is really good and making soup. E: I thought of it in it in a dream so thats why its not so good

What do you call a water fowl looking in a window?

Peking duck. (it came to mind over dinner... I thought I would share the pain with everyone)

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

Dinner

Why was the cannibal sad at dinner?

Because he got the cold shoulder.

What does a vegetarian hunter say before dinner?

Lettuce prey

What did the sea monster have for dinner?

Fish and ships.

What do we have for dinner? Wookie steak. Is it any good?

Well its a little Chewy

Why should you never take a swordfish out to dinner?

Because you'll get stuck with the bill, and if you don't have money to pay the restaurant will call the cods on you. Fin.

How does Batman's mom call him home for dinner?

She doesn't because she's dead.

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How do you say dinner in Spanish?

JOHN CENA

What do waiters want most after dinner?

The tip!

What are two things dinosaurs can't have for dinner?

Breakfast and lunch.

What did the man say when the lobster gave him food poisoning?

I'm not letting you cook dinner again.

Why did the archaeologist ask a diamond out to dinner?

Because of his enthusiasm for Carbon-Dating.

What's the difference between a roasted chicken and a time bomb?

If you don't know the answer please never invite me to dinner.

Why did the hipster burn their tongue?

They ate their dinner before it was cool.

How do Batman's parents call him to dinner?

They don't they're dead.

How does Batman's mother call him to dinner?

She doesn't, she's dead

What's it called when an Arabic author releases their latest novel after dinner?

Post-Hummus

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What did the messed up psychologist have for dinner?

Freud rice.

What did the time traveller do after he ate the last bite of his dinner?

He went back 4 seconds.

What is 168?

Dinner for 4.

What did the scarecrow say when the farmer asked him in for dinner?

No thanks, I'm stuffed.

What does Batman's mum shout when it's time for dinner?

Nothing. She's dead.

How many telemarketers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, but they have to do it during dinner.

Why don't lobsters share their dinner?

Because they're shellfish!!!

Why couldn't Bach pay for his dinner?

Because he was Baroque.

What veggies are the kids having with dinner?

Me: (Smacking the bottom of a ketchup bottle) Fresh Tomatoes...

What did the cannibal's wife give her husband when he came home late for dinner?

A. The cold shoulder.

Who wants to go out to dinner and scream and cry and make daddy wish he wore more condoms?

Kids: WE DO! YAY!

What did the fruit say to the vegetable before dinner?

Lettuce, pray.

What came first: the chicken or the egg?

The egg because I ate egg for breakfast and chicken for dinner.

How does Alfred call Batman for dinner?

Dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner Batman!

Why must rabbits never miss dinner?

With out their tea they'd be Rabbis.

What do you call it when one piece of coal asks another piece of coal out to dinner?

Carbon dating.

What does a blonde make best for dinner?

Reservations.

What do Batman's parents shout when dinners ready?

NOTHING, BECAUSE THEY'RE DEAD.

Why was the first computer never invited to dinner?

It would just take a few bytes then run.

What does Asian Matthew McConaughey want for dinner?

All rice, all rice, all rice

What do rodents do after dinner?

Gopher a walk.

Why 21 didn't invite his brother for dinner?

Why are football players never asked for dinner?

Because they're always dribbling!

Why did the Italian miss his dinner?

It'a was'a pasta his bed time

What does a black and white bear use to cook its dinner?

A pan, duh!

What do mechanical keyboards want for dinner?

Chicken ticka ticka ticka masala

What did the teddy bear say after dinner?

I'm stuffed.

What did the Cannibal get for dinner after offending his wife?

The cold shoulder.

What did the snake say when he was offered a piece of cheese for dinner?

Thank you I'll just have a slither.

What is white and disturbes your dinner?

An avalanche.

Where does the catcher sit for dinner?

Behind the plate.

What do sea monsters have for dinner?

Fish and ships.

Why does mama aardvark call her husband a cannibal?

Because he ate his ant for dinner!

What do you want for dinner?

4: A bucket.. *Googles better school districts

What did Richard Nixon say after he tried to make dinner at the White House for the first time?

I am not a cook

What do you call an empty town after dinner?

Desserted

What did Sherlock ask his friend when he wanted to know what they were having for dinner?

Watson the menu

What do you call someone who talks on their phone during dinner?

Cellfcentered

Why didn't the Native Americans go out to dinner?

They lost their reservations.

Who's there! Bert! Bert who?

Bert the dinner!

What did one plate say to the other plate?

Dinner is on me!

Why does Superman get invited to dinners?

Because he is a Supperhero.

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What do you call a dead person?

Dinner

What's the difference between a viola and a coffin?

With a coffin, the dead person is on the inside.

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What are your intentions with our daughter?

Uh I need someone to sing the girl parts of Grease songs with me

What were Tarzan's last words?

WHO GREASED THE VIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNEEEE.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes that isn't moving?

Still no idea.

What do you call a fish with three eyes?

Fiiish. (works when spoken :-/)

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How do you make a Whiskey Sour?

Crush it's hopes and dreams.

What's the difference between dreams and memes?

I haven't given up on my memes yet

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What is a sandwich on a ship?

A sub-marine

How did the domestic goods feel when they were being shipped overseas?

Tarrif-ied.

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What's your Mom's name?

Kid: Mom's last name must be "Darling" because that's what Daddy calls her every time.... Teacher: That's so sweet. What's her first name then? Kid: I think it's "Sorry"....

What do frogs say that surf the internet?

Reddit reddit.. First joke i thought of.

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What did the vegetarian lion say before going hunting?

Lettuce prey

What does a vegetarian hunter say before dinner?

Lettuce prey

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What do you call 75 year old John Cena?

John Cenile.

What's John Cena's favourite part of the sunset?

The CENAry